Had rectal cancer in 2019 followed by 30 weeks chemo, ending just before Christmas. Friends and colleagues were supportive but not in your face. COVID then hit, and probably as my immune system was still low, I caught COVID mid March. I was lucky to survive this, and have had long COVID ever since. Had to eventually take ill health retirement from school. But friends are not supportive. I met one good friend yesterday, who I now only see once or twice a year, and was very upset and low after. After some thought I decided I was grieving for what was (again). Why has the support gone? I need it more in a way, as I'm not yet back to how I was when on chemo. In fact I make no secret of the fact I'd rather have stayed on chemo than had COVID/long COVID, as to me this is harder to cope with, both personally and from people's reactions now. But I don't mention this unless it comes up in conversation (rarely). Now everything is assumed to be normal and life goes on.
I think I just need to vent, but why don't friends understand? I get more help from my exercise group! To be fair it is one for people living with and beyond cancer and spouses, but my original friend group have moved on and left me behind. It's not easy making new ones.
So was it grief do you think? Seems odd after 5 years of long COVID, but things do come back to bite us!!
Thanks for listening in my safe space. Xx
