Anyone else sick of saying I'm fine ?

Very good subject, this. I find myself saying I'm 'hopeful' -people say 'Oh you look well!' mainly I suppose because I haven't lost any hair..luckily for me, my bowel cancer tumour was removed in an 8 hour operation and there was only slight intrusion into a lymph node and one vein, it's the mop up chemo that I'm on at the moment is making me feel pretty grim.

To be honest Milkmaid66  I don't think most of your friends want to hear any detail, and that's why I find blowing off steam on here is so useful.Have you joined any support groups? I found one in my area-all ladies-but I joined for about 8 sessions every Friday ,and really enjoyed that because all of the people sat there had interesting stories about their cancer , and they knew that people there were listening -and interested. 

I've taken to say, "still here" . If it's someone who needs to know more, I will elaborate.

Absolutely agree.  Everyone wants to be reassured that you’re ok, I find it difficult so I’ve asked friends to text rather than call.  It’s a bit isolating but I’m not able to handle conversations that well at the moment.  Unless you’ve done it, the complexities of treatment are impossible to convey - most seem to think you visit for your infusion and that’s that.  After cycle 1 I was at or in hospital for 7 of the 14 days with bowel issues that I didn’t really want to share with friends. 

I get especially wound up when I’m having a bad day and someone says ‘stay positive’ - grrr.  I had this from the nurse removing my pump on the first cycle when I was at my lowest. 

Thanks for raising this.  
Lee x

My husband who has been going through this journey for 4 years, after two years deemed as incurable, when people ask he just says ‘I am surviving’.

I have to say it really makes me annoyed when people say I hope you are well to him, I feel like shocking them and saying apart from having terminal cancer he is obviously great thanks! 

Hey,

I am in my 3rd cycle now, at first I used to say I’m ok blah blah blah but now I don’t sugar coat it. I’m honest and say I’m having a shitty time. because that’s the truth. Two major ops, now have a stoma and having chemo it’s hard. My friends and family prefer me not to just say I’m ok. 

It is hard Hayley, you're right of course , and many if not most of us feel desperately fed up at least some of the time. Weirdly, though I was diagnosed in Oct 24, I still regard my cancer journey if slightly viewed from a bystander, as it isn't quite me.. . Must be a self preservation mechanism. I watch in grim fascination as yet more blood is extracted for testing, yet more chemicals infused, yet more stinky stoma bag emptying at 3am. On and on it goes!

Stoma emptying is so stinky. Doesn’t help the nausea at all during chemo.

Hi Milkmaid66 I very much relate to this. I’ve started treatment having just completed my first week of Chemoradiotherapy, it dawned on me last week that it’s probably best to just say “Some days I’m tired, other days I’m ok” or more often now I’ll say “I’m trying to feel positive” because that allows for a positive response in return. I think I went into too much detail until a few weeks ago. Luckily most of my communications are by text as my family and my few friends live nowhere near me and rather than go into long explanations, it seems easier to keep it concise. I find it preferable to phone calls! 

I fall into the "I'm fine" trap all the time. If it is someone from work or someone I don't know we'll, I just say it to move on. They don't want t9 know and I don't have energy to waste on these people. 

• If it is a close family member or friend, I will say a bit more but still skim the surface. "The doctor has me doing X and we will see how it goes", etc.