Any positive stories to help my Father in Law?

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Hi everyone. This is my first post, and is a plea for help.

My Father in Law was diagnosed with Advanced Bowel Cancer 1 month ago (Transverse Colon) T4 N1. Small lung effusion. No lung lesions. 
His Chemo is due to start on 7th January, and the tumour to be removed after this course of Chemo.

Ever since his diagnosis, he has gradually deteriorated. He had a doctors appointment and they felt this was due to constipation, so he started on laxatives. He continued to deteriorate. He has hardly eaten since his diagnosis. Phone calls with the hospital cancer team suggested he started taking paracetamol, which he did. A week ago today he was in so much pain, we called an ambulance. He was in hospital for 5 days, and had 9litres of fluid drained from his tummy. A scan showed that the tumour hasn’t grown since his diagnosis. 

He came home on Christmas Day, and we were all hoping that this would now be his opportunity to finally start gaining strength for his Chemo to begin. Sadly, this doesn’t seem to be the case. Our fun, lively Dad is a shadow of the man he used to be. He is still hardly eating. He hates the ensure drinks. He is incredibly weak, and admitted today that he is really struggling mentally. It seems as if he has resigned himself to the idea that he is going to die. We, his family, feel that he needs to try and build his strength so that he has a chance of coping with the Chemo. I thought it would be useful to give him some positive, real-life stories of people who have had a similar diagnosis to him, so that he believes that he can fight this. (I should add that his cancer team have been informed of his recent hospital visit, and are consulting about the best way to proceed)

We are all new at negotiating this awful disease, and I would really appreciate any positive stories that I may be able to pass onto him. Many thanks in advance x

  • Hello Lewis44,

    Your father-in-law is in good company on these pages.

    I am 73, male and lost 3 1/2 stone in the year prior to treatment to shrink and remove a 13cm colorectal tumour. It might be an age thing but when I was told it was cancer I assumed I'd be dead in a few months. After all, everyone I knew who had cancer in the preceding years had died before their time. Little did I know of the recent advances in chemoradiotherapy, scans, surgical techniques, etc.. plus the benefits in trying to keep a busy daily routine. Post-op my weight and muscle strength are restored, together with the ability to laugh once again. I never once tried the patent instant meals and just ate filled pasta with tomato sauce and grated cheese, traditional porridge made with milk (with some high cocoa chocolate squares thrown in), bananas, sugar-free jelly with good quality ice cream and creamy natural yogurt, pomegranate juice, hot smoked salmon fillets with mayonnaise, tomato soup, etc. Being Type 1 diabetic means that I have to consider everything I eat or drink but that sort of diet did me no harm (a selection of fat, protein and carbohydrate). Also, and quite essentially, I drank a lot of cold water each day, which was something I never did beforehand. Still do, but what goes in has to come out and that is usually around 3.00 in the morning! But that's a small price to pay.

    At the risk of me becoming a bore you might click on my name to get a sense of timescales and treatments.

    Best,

    Dulac 

  • Thank you so much for this- it sounds as if you definitely can relate to what he is currently feeling. Your story is inspirational, and I will certainly pas this onto him. I really appreciate your time and help, and wish you all the best. 

  • Hey Lewis

    Im sorry to hear about your father in law. 
    From what you say, it hasnt spread so he will most probably survive this. 
    my Dad is stage 4 with liver spread and is doing really well and hoping to get cancer free soon. 
    I know its hard but positivity is the key .

    i really hope these messages can cheer him up and get him in the fighting spirit. Sending love to you all , charlie

  • Thank you so much for these positive words- I will pass them onto him . I have my fingers firmly crossed for your dad too x