When my father was dying, I was living far away. I hopped on a plane and found I'd left my cell phone in my car. I then had a total melt down when I was unable to start the rental car (totally my fault.) I have never been so scattered and messed up.
It felt weird that the world was going on about it's business when I felt like it should have stopped.
Be gentle with yourself. Sending you love and virtual hugs.
I got there and was able to say goodbye. That was 8 years ago but the memory is still fresh. I hoped the story would help you see that what you're going through is very normal. You never totally get over the loss but it gets easier to live with.
