My Dad 66yr old with bowel cancer stage 4 with liver mets

Hi everybody

Its been 18 months since was last on this site, dad had just been told, after an unsuccessful operation that ther was nothing more the doctors could do, we were all devestated.

It has been a very bumpy road since then, with 20 stays in hospital, and lots of highs and lows, including external kidney bags and an illiostomy to deal with!

Dad has been slowly declining, and mum has been nursing him at home, with the help of macmillan, hospice at home and a team of district nurses. Yesterday the GP came and told us its now a matter of weeks until he dies, and I am so torn, half of me wants his pain to end, and the other half wants him to keep fighting....

.....How am going to cope without him?

Hey Dad's Girl.  I have just read your journey with your Dad, what an amazing fighter he has been.  ... How are you going to cope without him?... I still ask myself how I do every day (I lost my Dad 8th April, this year after a year of the cancer fight) - but somehow they give you strength.  Yes it is an awful situation, and I know absolutely how you are feeling, in regards to not wanting to loose them, but don't want anymore pain.  I was praying for a miracle right to the end... and someone said to me maybe I got my miracle, Dad is now free of pain.   I don't truely believe any Doctor knows exactly how much longer someone has, it does become out of their control at some point... Try to be there for your Dad and just do what you do, and look after your Mum, she will need you too.  It is a very special and amazingly hard time in head of you, to be there for your Dad at this time is truely your gift to him.  Love and thoughts are with you and your Mum XOX - Jules 

Hi All,

Can I just start by saying you are all in my mind and I am so sorry that we have had some sad news over recent weeks on our wee thread. I felt it was inappropriate to contribute my own news in  the face of pain. However I know some of you have been following mum's story for over a year and would want to know.

I was very worried this time. However the surgeon was able to remove the 73 % of her liver during the operation. She had an epidural and was even able to have some soup and ice cream in high dependency. She even surprised dad and myself with a wee phone call a couple of hours later. Now she is on the ward with the epidural gone and sleeping a lot. Her wee liver is doing it job so far. Long may it continue.

Still hoping we get  a cure soon. The high dependency breaks my heart, yet I am very grateful.

Will be in touch soon.

Love to all court

oh spoke too soon. Another quick change to confused and not handling pain meds. Off for a chest x ray. Think I will be able to run anxiety management courses after this.

Still love to all,

Court

Hi Court, such wonderful news that they have cut those 'nasty's' out - it's amazing how the liver can regenerate itself.  Sorry to hear your Mum's pain is not being managed, as you said sounded like she was doing nicely.  I hope by the time you read this they have sorted out the problem and got your Mum recovering pain free.  I know I only speak for myself on this thread, but I would hate that you didn't post your 'GOOD' news stories here - yes completely know where you are coming from, when news for others isn't going so well... but for me anyway, I DO want to hear of people beating this 'horrid' cancer, and come out smiling!

Ann, how is Nev doing?  We haven't heard from you in a while, I hope things are OK.  And how about your Mum, how she with her treatment?

Take care all x - Jules             

Hi all,

Not been here for a while, I knocked my laptop onto the floor which did it no good at all!  I'm borrowing my sons at the moment.  

Good to hear from you Jules, how are things with you and your Mum?

Court,

Have they got your Mums pain under control now, is everything else going the right way?

How is everyone else doing, Jacqui, how is Al?

Things not wonderful here.  Nev hasn't had any treatment for nearly 7 months now and things are on the rampage again.  The outcome of the Cystoscopy was that they are not going to operate on his bowel just now, he is going to start chemo again.  The outcome of the visit to the 2nd opinion liver surgeon was nothing doing - we expected as much but it's still a bugger

Ah well, keep on keeping on.

Lots of love

Ann xx

Sorry, meant to ask Andy and Mandy  how Jules and Terry are?

Ann x

Hi Ann, thanks for asking after Mum and I.  We are doing OK, have our moments... Mum's brother who she and Dad havn't gotten on with for years, is causing Mum stress, he 'hated' Dad (The only person in the who world who disliked him!)  hence I say he has serious mental issues - I'm aloud to say that here right!?  But anyway a very long story, and Mum is only getting her blood pressure under control, and now 'he' starts on her!  ARGH!! (My brother had him up for assault last year when he hit him and said 'Good enough that your Dad has Cancer' - you can imagine how much our whole family despise him!) - Can't pick your relations and all that!    Ann, sorry to hear things aren't that good at present, buggar on the liver surgeon.  How is Nev in himself at the moment - still riding that bike?  Yes understand you will feel gutted, 7 mths of them fluffing around is just plain bloody annoying to say the least!  What chemo are you starting with again?  Keep going Ann, I can hear in your 'voice' that you are 'shattered'  but look, you know yourself, Nev is a fighter, and has done VERY well on Chemo before - so chin up and full speed ahead my dear!  Take it easy all, and Court look forward to those photo's!         

Hi All,

It has been a very tiring week here. Ann , I am sorry that surgery was not on offer and I hope he gets his next lot of chemo quickly to get the cancer back under control. Just counting back mum got 8 months off between chemo and it worked just as well again. What chemo is he using this time? Mum kept on xelox as she had had a six months break so could stay on the same combo.

Jash, hope chemo is going ok for your husband too. Thinking of you a lot.

Well it is a three hour round trip to visit mum so I am just about to head off. She seems less confused but sleepy still. Surgeon happy with op just making a slow recovery.

Jules . Your poor mum. Hard to understand where her brother is coming from!!

Kindness is what we count upon in my opinion.

Love to all out there.

Court

Hi everyone,

Jules,

well, wouldn't we all love an uncle like that!  As you said can't pick your family, can tell them to push off though, how dare he put your poor Mum through that.

Court,

How is your Mum doing, I really hope she is getting on well and everything is under control now.

Nothing much changed here.  Nev still not very good, no Jules, no bike riding but he is still working (can't for the life of me work out how).  I don't know what his regime will be, we are seeing the Oncologist on July 6th so will find out then.  I am hoping he will get Avastin.  I just want to get on with it now, recommence battle.

How is everyone else, be good to hear.

Take care

Love Ann xx