I'm appreciate that I'm only in my second day after my first treatment and although the change of direction that yesterday brought had its own challenges it meant I was no longer waiting for something to happen, however I've now hit another wall.
I did manage to get up this morning, shove some food down with the pills, mediated for a brief period, went for a short walk, waved at a friend's new grandson through the window, tried to eatch sone tv but now all I want to do is go to bed. Yet I have to somehow manage another meal in order to swallow the next batch of "warrior " pills. Appetite is zero. Does this improve?
I find it very difficult to express my inner fears and worries and the stress seems to make me very shivery so I retreat under the rug on the sofa.
I'm worried about Easter looming and services being closed. The anticipated "diarrhea day". What happens when I stop taking the little yellow antisickness/ steroid on Friday and trying not to fret about the what if the other pills don't work etc... when my GP isn't available.
I can't seem to find joy or purpose and am wondering how others approached these initial days.
I'm obviously being very emotionally needy here. I hope one day to be able to offer out to support others, but for now perhaps just my asking the questions could help someone who is also struggling.
