Hi, I am new to forum but reaching out to anyone who can help/give some guidance.
My dad was diagnosed with Primary Bowel cancer in Dec 2022, whilst the cancer was removed he still has secondary liver cancer and peritoneal disease which is aggressive. After 3 lines of chemo which have spread over the past year, the cancer has spread in his liver and more than doubled in size. After taking his 3rd line of chemo, Regorafenib it made him very ill - physically and emotionally more notably causing severe weight loss/no appetite and depression to the point where my dad was/is unrecognizable physically and emotionally. He also looked rather jaundice. After taking him to A&E due to worry, he consultant agreed to take him off the chemo an give him steriods to boost his appetite and general wellbeing.
Now being on them for 2/3 weeks we have seen little improvement. His appetite is non existent and he may buy food, he wont eat it. He seems to drink a little bit, but refuses to drink the build up shakes from the hospital and I am at a loss at how else to help him? He is severely underweight and as he lives on his own I am extremely worried about him. He wants to drive, and does but that even worries me. As he seems so weak because of not eating. He has always had very high standard of self-care and now it feels like he has given up and it is so sad to see. I don't know whether these are because the cancer is growing or because of the not eating (is this still effects from the chemo he has stopped taking for the past 3 weeks, or is it the cancer growing?!). His mental state is so different too, he has always been a very social, charismatic person and at the moment is is so withdrawn, not really wanting to see many people or going out (unless in the car once a day) and can be sometimes quite nasty in what he says to me and my brother.
We are at a loss what to do and what stage he is at in his cancer journey. We will see his consultant next week for a prognosis and results of a CT scan to see if the cancer has spread but just finding this very overwhelming. I want to be there for my dad so much but feel so helpless. I am working FT and have a very young family but want to be there for him as much as I can. I always want to be able to mentally prepare myself and my brother for the inevitable. Has anyone had any experiences like this, and how can you help someone that doesn't seem to want any help?
Thanks for reading
Hi CarolineB
I can totally relate to your post . I can’t tell you the amount of time I have spent trying to build my mum back up .
However I would say when chemo has knocked the stuffing out of you three weeks is not that long . I know surgeons want a full six before the operate after chemo so that gives you a rough indication of how long it can take to find your feet again .
To put that into context my mum was on a targeted treatment but had a few rough episodes. It was easier than chemo . However she did end up with an emergency admission in the middle of Dec and I would say it’s taken to half way through Feb before I saw real improvement. She won’t be having any more treatments. She has had enough and although she does well enough a slight cold can knock her right back as it has this weekend .
I buy her the protein yogurts . They have 15 grams of protein and reasonably easy to take . The other thing we had success with is milk shakes . Full of calories and easy to sip . But not nutritious. But it helps get additional energy into them .
It’s not easy . My mum really did not like the build up drinks . She could take a chicken soup one and then I would work hard adding cream to mash potatoes etc .
Our helpline staff would be more than happy to chat this through with you . 0808 808 0000 . Sometimes it helps to know the next step in the process.
Take care ,
Court
Helpline Number 0808 808 0000
