Partner diagnosis

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Hi, this is my first time posting, finally feel brave enough to talk about it.

My partner was initially diagnosed with Bowel cancer in May, severity of stage four and progressed to both livers confirmed beginning of June. They have said incurable and he is still waiting for a start date for chemo to hopefully shrink the tomur to maybe operate. I just want them to hurry up and start treatment. Maybe it isn't a very long time to wait but it feels like forever!

At the same time, I dont want them to start because I know the side affects he could be facing with the treatment. he is still is doing all the things he normally would at the moment and he's coping remarkably. I know he's being strong for me and our children, I just don't know how he's doing it. Sorry for the moaning, just seems all so unfair. He's only early 40's, we should have years left together yet.

court over 2 years ago

Hi Sezza65

Big welcome to the forum . The initial period from diagnosis is really the worst and whilst there are side effects to work through for some they do make adjustments to make sure it’s tolerable . It is the waiting to make the adjustments I often feel so sorry about ! Everything takes time .
However saying that my mum is 14 years into the process , on / off treatments and procedures and someone here suggested taking it one process at a time . Chemo actually develops a routine and a bit of a safety net . We often just get the routine established and it is scan time before you know it but it does make you feel something is being done to help pull in the spread .
If you click on my user name you can see how they treated the spread to my mum’s liver . She had quite a spread but was a great responder to treatment. She even managed to get discharged from on oncology and five years clear but it popped up again in her lung . She is still on treatment ( much less invasive as she is older now ) but responding so well again .

For some it does become a chronic condition and the oncologist have developed approaches as this has opened up .
I hope your husband is a top responder and gets the shrinkage he needs to get to surgery .

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

Sezza65 over 2 years ago in reply to court

Thank you Court. I have actually read your mums story and has actually given me hope. I'm trying not to make it about me but I just want to reset my mind so I can better cope for the times ahead to support him and our children. Thank you for taking the time to reply. Sending you and your mum my very best wishes

court over 2 years ago in reply to Sezza65

They deserve our full attention as they physically process treatment and the implications of a difficult diagnosis , however making sure you have the right support around you as you deal with the emotional implications of this will make you a strong team going forward .

Make sure you get out for a coffee or walk with friends and draw from that strength . I got a good chat with my GP at the beginning.

So pleased you got some hope from mum’s story . Watching the progress oncology has made over the last decade is so good .

Even now they are still quite aggressive with mum’s treatment and just last week the pharmacist was saying they are so pleased with her !

One small step at a time and stay connected to your lives . Keep that as a priority .

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000