Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Oh dear you all seem to be having a rough time at the moment so I am sending hugs to you all. 

I hope all is well when you see the oncologist on Thursday Maggie and as everyone is saying don’t be afraid to call to get some support when you need help or advice. 

I have to go to the Registrar tomorrow. The medical examiner phoned to go through the cause of death with me which was 1. multi organ failure/septicaemia/urinary tract infection. 2, Bowel cancer. So sad that if he had been able to eat properly he might of stayed stronger for longer although that is only me surmising. 

I have been in a bubble since he passed, I told myself until I had the death certificate I didn’t have to do anything but reality is creeping in now and I know there are things I need to do. I just don’t want to do them though as that will make it real. It is just so unfair. 

love to you all. Pauline xxx

Thank you Vicky. Try not to worry about your sister. I am pleased you had a lovely day meeting up with your cousins, it makes such a difference to your mood. It rained all day yesterday here.

pauline just take your time with whatever and give yourself time. I must admit I feel I am in a bubble already but will see what Thursday brings  

i am thinking of you all.  Sending huge hugs  Maggie xx

Pauline so sorry to read this of course your in a bubble it must seem so unreal I hope you have help and support thinking of you xx

It doesn't feel real Pauline well not until you get that death certificate in your hand and then it does become so real.  Jay's cause of death was chronic renal failure due to tumour recurrence metastatic bowel cancer and diabetes mellitus. Hard for me to say to you to take it a day a time because i'm still doing it but you will get kind of good days along with the bad. I'm 8 weeks in already from the time Jay passed until we had his funeral then after that. Feels so much longer and still is early days for me. Take Care lovely you're in my thoughts. 

Vicky xx

So tried to clear some more stuff today but still not touching Jay's just yet I will get round to that though and I have an idea of when I want to do that. Just getting rid of some of my stuff I don't want anymore stuff that lies in the back of your wardrobe and never gets worn which you thought at the time was a good idea. Once i've done that I may start to tackle Jays stuff he has so much some still in wrappers and labelled he wasn't that fashion conscious and this was despite my best efforts to get him to be more so as he used to say just give him a T shirt pair of jeans or joggers and a pair of baseball boots or trainers and he was happy. He would get dressed smart casual though if we were going out for dinner or anything. He was never a shirt and tie man- only when needed. It's going to be hard for me but I'll get to it eventually. Most will go to charity or if good enough maybe put it on a selling site. That's still a little while away though. Take care all.

Vicky xx

Hi Vicky. You are keeping yourself busy. I did that last year with my stuff but there is a shirt of his which is knackered and I have put it in the bin a few times. He always wears shirts. Of course he got it out and even the grandkids knew as he put a button back on and sewed it in red.  I am just leaving it now as when he goes in the wardrobe he knows where it is. He bought a coat which was too small and he will go on a diet to fit in it.  It fits nice now due to his condition but can’t see him getting to wear it. 

sending everyone hugs Maggie xx

1. I have cleared loads of stuff out - had lots of m and s jackets and a lovely suede jacket barely worn and about 30 m and s shirts hardly worn and was going to get grandaughter to put them on vinted but was sick of seeing them so sent them all off to the hospice shop so hope somebody get some use out of them and the hospice gets something. Kept the things I wanted to keep. Haven’t even looked at sorting the garden shed or garage. Next thing will be sorting my clothes out and as you say there’s stuff you never wear but keep just in case!! Kevin liked shirts when we lived I spain as he said they were cooler but liked polo shirts here and he always just wore Levi’s.
2. He always wanted a drovers Barbour coat and got one last year never been worn but think I may wear it in the winter.
3. Been helping Paul today cutting his grass and housework and been to ikea with him and he wants me to help putting shelves up so that should be a laugh - like laurel and hardy 

Helen x

Helen I don’t know where you get your energy from.  You are doing a great job. Wish I had your enthusiasm.  My daughter loves ikea.  I have not been for such a long time. 

I am feeling a more anxious about tomorrow but big girl pants on.

Maggie xx

Thinking of you all Maggie tomorrow is a big day let's have some good news on here feeling fed up at the moment today is sunny and I realized what it is I miss most FREEDOM I would love to just go out somewhere or a few days away like we used to but stuck indoors Simon not well enough today to go out so stuck in again sorry that sounds bad but today is the first time those thoughts have come into my head can't even do much inside because of puppy he would love the freedom but everyone has stopped  coming or at work not sure why I feel agitated today just angry at Cancer maybe or thinking today we should all be out in the sun with our partner's love you all you brave strong people xx

Hi Jkee. Les still in bed. Yes I agree I feel stuck. I know I shouldn’t moan but the feeling’s overwhelming me at the moment. I hope it is good news tomorrow as well but you know that gut feeling. I would a weekend away to appreciate what I have got. Thankfully we did not get a puppy as I don’t think at all I could cope although it would be company.  It is overcast here but still warmish  emptied my dryer and folded the clothes but have no inclination to iron .  Oh well  love to you all Maggie xx