Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Kleigh87 that is a lot for you to have alone we told close family and friends I needed to talk as my husband is not a talker so it helped me and the grown up children needed to know they did say if you keep anything from us we won't forgive you we are grown up children we can deal with it. It is a lonely place as a carer you need support maybe talk to your partner again sending hugs

Sorry to hear about your husbands cancer markers, Jkee. Fingers crossed it's nothing  serious.

Distraught, my dad is stubborn like that, men! They don't listen and do what is good for them! I hope Les feels better soon. 

ParrtK, you're right, no one is immune from cancer and that's quite scary! Sorry Jay couldn't get preventive chemo.

Kleigh, sorry to hear about your partner. It must be hard to keep the news all to yourself. Do you think he might be in denial, avoiding the subject or is it because he doesn't want people to fuss over him cos it's annoying? Maybe have another chat with him and ask when does he want people to know and gently remind him he can't hide it forever, people love him and are very concerned. Maybe it's like the royal family, it's just about finding the right timing to announce the shocking news. 

Tory, thinking of you and your son. Hope everything is OK.

My dad is still in hospital, he is so resilient. It's a crazy rollercoaster ride, earlier in the week he was so weak and tired, I was expecting the worse.  Now his energy is a bit better. Overall it's still not great, the cancer is like the Japanese knotweed, taking over his body. It's spread everywhere and affecting his kidney function hence the high potassium levels, as well as bloated stomach and lung issues causing low oxygen levels. It's just a matter of time when the cancer will completely take over. I'm feeling ok, I don't know if it's cos I'm in autopilot or because my dad has been in hospital for 3 weeks now and I've accepted the fact that his time is limited. Anyway, I'm not going to question that now and think too much, just have to take it a day at a time. I guess all the books, podcasts, YouTube videos I read/listened/watched about grief over the past year is helping me to stay calm. 

Take care of yourself everyone, you are all in my thoughts x

He is in denial and rightfully so, does not want to think or talk about dying. I was 14 when my dad was first diagnosed, we weren’t told much. It was only when I was older that we were told he was originally given 6 months. He battled for 20 years before he lost, but it was very sudden and quick. He was taken into hospital and put straight into hospice and we were told 2, maybe 3 days. He died after 3. In some ways I’m thankful that we didn’t know, as the pain of knowing it was coming didn’t last long. 

so from my personal experience I think I’d rather wait, but I know not everyone’s the same, there’s also his father and his siblings that don’t know. 
but sometimes I wonder if my partner is zoning out on the meetings with the oncologist and not actually taking any of it in himself. 

Hi how are you all doing how is Les? what a week my son decided to book us a lodge near him for us to give us rest and we get to see him well it poured with rain from the second we arrived the lodge was in a field great in the summer but just a bog.The dog did not settle just barked at every noise wandered around all night woke me with a boot in my face at 5am . 2nd day raining the walks in the field was like a boggy swimming pool I was just soaked and the worst bit Simon was in pain in all his bones he just wanted to rest and not go out so our son popped to see us but Simon didn't want to go out anywhere so I have been stuck in a lodge in the rain all week watching tv with the dog waking me at 5am bored . We got back home this morning the rest of the lodges were still asleep we left at 8am. His team did ring yesterday and said they are not happy his markers are getting higher so are arranging a pet scan to see where this cancer is really scared after watching him all week I am not daft I know bad news is coming.Now to unpack if someone says go on a nice break again forget it shattered fed up and worried all in one hope you are all ok xx

Hi Everyone!

Just on to wish you all a Happy Easter Weekend hope it is as good as it can be for you all. Jkee so sorry to hear your break didn't go well such a shame the weather didn't hold up for you. Nothing worse going somewhere and you can't at least get outside worse for you in your circumstances. Sorry to hear Simon's markers are getting higher I don't know what to say that would be a comfort to you. I know it's hard but the only thing you can do is try to stay positive though easier said than done. Hopefully the Pet scan will show results of some sort. How are the rest of you? Torry hope you are bearing up ok and Maggie hope things are going ok for you and Les. My first Easter without Jay. I'm not a bit Easter fan and don't really go in for it much it's not such a big holiday as Christmas. I've got the wee one tonight for a sleepover. William and Nicole have to work tomorrow and they were going earlier this afternoon to see about wedding decorations some place that can arrange all the decor for the venue so I said to them just to bring Myla here and she could stay over and save all the hoo-ha of William having to bring her over early in the morning. So it's cartoons galore! Cleared another one of Jay's drawers earlier this week honestly the rubbish that man accumulated over time he was a bit of a hoarder mind. Would buy things that seemed a good idea at the time but then got thrown in a drawer when the novelty wore off. Sill finding a lot of hospital paraphanelia too.. old medicine boxes etc. Oh well, on we go. Take Care everyone and have a good weekend. 

Vicky xx

Hi Vicky lovely to hear from you Myla will be keeping you busy tonight sounds like you have a wedding to look forward to.Your strength has been amazing since you lost Jay I'm sure you have bad days as well but lovely to hear Easter is not something we do but looking forward to a chill weekend I hoe lol xx

Good evening everyone, this weather is so depressing it’s seems to have rained for ever. Yeah my first Easter after Kevin and it’s a bit of a non event. Paul is now in the hospice and seems worse to me than when he went in. I am sick and fed up of trailing back and forwards and all the washing etc and phone calls. Paul has just rang and told me dialysis hasn’t worked after I left before and looks like a trip to hospital.  I know this is a terrible thing to even think but he has no quality of life is in immense pain and nothing is helping so if if  could just drift off I think it would be the best thing for him even though it breaks my heart.

Another few weeks and it will be a year since Kevin passed away so my blood pressure is sky high although the hospice has been giving me compliments reike as consultant said I looked worn out.

Sorry to be so gloomy but that’s how I feel at the mo

Helen x

Helen this is soo sad to read you must feel helpless you shouldn't have to go through this after loosing Kevin how are you meant to cope with all that. I hope you are getting some support wish I could say something to help but I just want you to know you are in my prayers xxx

Hi all.

vicky it will be lovely to have the wee one as she will keep you occupied..

helen that is the saddest news. I bet you are absolutely worn out with the stress and continuous driving and watching Pauline pain. You are not a pain at all. I would more than likely feel the same as you.

jkee I can’t believe you had such a horrid week and Simon in pain. Wait til the pet scan to see why his markers are rising. You too like Helen with Paul can’t bear to see your loved one in pain.

i have had a hell of a week.  Les fissure is back with a vengeance and in a lot of pain,  he eventually started to go in a warm bath after a few days of nagging and him losing it with me. His chemo cancelled today as Good Friday. Not sure what is happening about the op as all on leave when he rang up. The whole thing is a bloody nightmare. He even said just get me a black pill. I had to turn around as I nearly started crying.  

tomorrow is another day and I have been thinking of you all but I was not in a hood place as he would not let me ring and again started on me. Felt quite sorry for myself. Like you all our lives have stopped. 

sending huge hugs and try and stay strong loads and thinking of you all love maggie. 

Oh Helen! I am so sorry tor read that Paul is so ill. I used to think that about Jay if he just `went` it would be best for him but he kept telling me he wasn't ready to go and just hung on for as long as he could until he just lost all the fight in him. Yes I'm counting the months now until Jay has been gone a year just over 9 months now. Last weekend was a bad one because it was 9 months to day last Saturday I just wasn't fit for anything and everything just `triggered` wasn't crying or anything and it's just so weird I still can't and just keep wishing it would come out. You are in my thoughts and prayers Helen. Please take Care. 

Vicky xx