Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

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Hi everyone

I'm Steph from the Community team Slight smile

Here is a new thread for carers, family and friends. This is a space for you to chat, share experiences and support each other through issues related to your loved ones bowel cancer.  The previous thread will shortly be locked as it was getting rather long which can make it difficult to navigate.

Please remember that we also have other dedicated spaces on the Community for carers, family and friends. These spaces exist so you can support each other away from members of the forum who might be dealing with their own cancer diagnosis: 

Family and friends forum

Carers only forum

Supporting someone with incurable cancer forum

You would be welcome to set up another new thread like this in one of the above forums. Please just let us know if you would like any help?

We hope you will continue to find lots of support from each other and the Community. We're here to help, so please do let us know if you have any questions or support needs by emailing us at community@macmillan.org.uk 

  • Bless You Maggie Kissing heart xx

  • Hi Maggie

    How are you did Les get his operation hope you are ok still waiting for Simon's pet scan result I could chase but don't want to know this time. Simon fell over the dog yesterday and bruised his ribs new week new problems hope every one is ok xx

  • So sorry to hear about Nicole’s mam life is so cruel. Maggie how did things go for you yesterday with Les?

    Have just been catching up with the messages as have been poorly in bed. Think everything is catching up on me now and Sally says it’s my body telling me to rest a bit instead of rushing round. Having a terrible time with Paul and feel like it’s time to get some sort of care in for him as I just can’t manage everything. Had an assessment for councelling yesterday and cried the entire time and she said I am exhausted and feels like I need to see a doctor and see about antidepressants. Fat chance of getting an appointment I was number 16 on the phone and waited ok long enough so hung up. I can’t seem to concentrate on anything and missing Sally as she is away for a few days abroad. Never mind one day at a time 

    Helen x

  • Hi all.  Operation did not go ahead. Got a phone call yesterday and he is provisionally down for next Tuesday. Another waiting game. I can understand not wanting to know the results but hope Simon is okay after falling over the dog. I am just a mess with the wait. 

    helen you need to rest completely to get your strength back.  Try and ring again as antidepressants will help you in the long run. Please just do as your daughter says.  I know what you mean being alone with daughter being away as mine was the other weekend. Please try and get sorted and wait in the phone, please as you are going through such a terrible time. 

    hugs to all and another waiting game xx

  • Helen you have had to deal with so much it is enough dealing with grief after loosing Kevin but you have not been given chance to do that while having to care and rush about after Paul but of course you are going to do that he is your son. I'm afraid your body cannot though deal with all of that you need to hang on that phone I was number 30 got through burst into tears and luckily got someone who cared. Sally will be back in the mean time make that appointment you need help anyone in your situation would not be able to just keep going. I took Simon to dentist he was delayed so sat in asda carpark just crying looking at everyone being normal thinking why us. I rang his nurse chasing scan the results are in but they are having a MDT meeting tomorrow to discuss then will ring me feeling a sense of dread. Maggie hope all goes well with Les bet your tummy is like mine waiting hugs to all xxxx

  • You are right, tummy, head etc. just had confirmation that it is definitely going ahead next Tuesday but he won’t let me stay in a hotel near as he said he would worry and there is no point. Now the garage has been built my head has just gone in it.  I agree watching people going about their business makes me envious then I think they could actually be in our situation. He will be in hospital for about 4 to 5 days. Dreading it but pleased for him at the same time xx

  • Hi ladies, 

    Good news that Les can get his op, everything crossed all goes well. Same for you Jkee regarding your scan results. The wait and worry is brutal. 

    One thing I have noticed on this journey is how ‘normal’ a lot of the people having treatment look. They don’t look like anything is wrong and you could walk past them in a supermarket and have no idea they are unwell. That’s what I tell myself when I question ‘why us’ - even if someone looks like they don’t have a care in the world, you can never know what is going on in their lives. This disgusting disease apparently will affect 1 in 2 people which is just staggering. It’s all I seem to hear and read about lately xx

  • Thank you Scarlett. To be honest people say how well Les looks losing all the weight. He has a healthy look about him as well. No one would guess he is suffering apart from his trousers keep falling down even though he is in a 32 waist now. 

    Hugs to all xx

  • Hi Everyone!

    Just reading your posts. Maggie great news that  the operation for Les is going ahead. Helen you really do need to take things a bit easier though I know that's easier said than done. Jkee hope it goes ok with you too for Simon. I'm just a bit `stuck` again this week head is all over the place again and I don't know what for. I've not heard from either William or Nicole since the weekend. I texted William a couple of days ago but never got back to me he's dayshift this week so maybe just tired when he gets home then he'll be trying to support Nicole of course.  He said if they needed me this week they would call. That goes without saying of course only to happy to take the wee one if need be. I've arranged flowers and a card to send to Nicole's dad and the family. Nicole has 5 sisters so they will all be there to look after him. I'll no doubt hear from them when they do need me. Hope you are all ok otherwise. Take Care. 

    Vicky xx

  • Thank you Vicky. I hope you hear from William soon. I usually like to hear from Lucy every day or a text at least to see how the grandchildren are getting on. Your head will be all over with one thing and another but try and relax and do something you like doing. In a couple of weeks we should all come on at the same time and have a glass of wine or a cuppa just so that we are all together. 

    big hugs xx