Bowel cancer CARERS, FAMILY & FRIENDS chat

Hi Maggie It has been hectic here Simon had his birthday at weekend so all the children grandchildren came at different times as Simon has said many times a day didn't think he would be here grateful he has had a year. I can understand them all wanting to be here but my god it was too much both for Simon and my self and even puppy. They are coming back for Christmas 2 of them staying over with the girlfriends Simon just sits smiles and says I'm ok but he wasn't they just want to be with Dad could be last one I know but hard work for me but will be grateful if he is around to see them the noise the mess the tiredness will be worth it but in fact I just think lets just get through today you cannot think ahead. Hope les and yourself are ok xx

You’re right Jkee.  We cannot think ahead. I am not sure how you coped as I don’t think I could. The thought of it gives me palpitations.  Les can cope for a couple of hours but gets tired quickly. Yes we have to be thankful they will be here this Christmas but not sure about lunch etc. there is no way we can put the humongous tree up with over a 1000 baubles on this year which will be a shame. Les will be on his chemo tablets over Christmas so that will be a bit traumatic for him as his hands and feet hurt really bad now. Like you I am taking each day as it comes. I know he does not like being left for too long but sometimes I need time out for an hour or so every other week.  Just take care of yourself Jkee and everyone else. Thinking of you all.  Maggie xx

Hi Everyone!

Just checking in to see how you are all doing. Yes Maggie feels like ages since we've all had a natter. I'm not too bad this week was feeling really `flat` last week but bit more upbeat this week- or at least trying to be. It's been a week of remembering people for me this week and ironic Rememberance Sunday was last week. It was my later brother in law's (Jay's brother) birthday on Tuesday (14th) would have been my mum and dad's anniversary yesterday (15th) and my mum has been gone 27 years ago today (16th). I was out shopping yesterday and there was a black car parked just across from mine and part of the number plate on it was JAY spooked me a little bit but looked on it as a `sign` that he's still watching over me. Not even thought of Christmas this year think we will just make it up as we go along as long as long as I see my wee granddaughter on Christmas Day I will be happy. Had her over last Friday for our sleepover that was a lot of fun. She is getting so big now and is at the stage you can interact with her more now and sit and have wee conversations with her. She was sleeping in `grannie's cosy bed` as she calls it. I have those fluffy fleece covers on my bed as it's that bit colder now and she slept beside me then as soon as the daylight came in she was shouting at me to get up. `It's morning granny, time to get up`. Still doesn't realise I think that her `papa` has gone but still mentions him and I have had prints made up and on the wall of Jay and William together and she will say `that's my papa and my daddy`. so she remembers him. Next week is my birthday and 5 months since Jay passed. It feels longer but has gone in so quick. My sister continues to keep well she has gone back home to her own house and I am just glad of having my own space. She has follow up appointments week after next so she'll probably stay with me that week as she's only along the road from me it's silly me to-ing and fro-ing everyday to take her to her appointments so she's just as well staying here. Maggie I hope Les is bearing up well with his treatment as is Simon Jkee good that you are having some of your family over for Christmas. . Just thinking this time last year Jay was just beginning his 2nd chemo treatment that he only got to complete one session of and it was just after that that the cancer really took a grip of him but that's all in the past need to look to the future now. Helen I hope you are well too and bearing up ok. Love to all Ladies. Stay strong. 

Vicky xx

Evening Vicky, yes time is going so quickly when I think this time last year we went to Iceland and yet such a lot has happened since then. Lovely you have your little granddaughter to stay with you sometimes. I am not looking forward to Xmas at all and trying to deal with Paul isn’t easy. I feel guilty that I can’t help him more but he is so stubborn like his dad was. He is at the hospice on Monday and they might admit him which would be a relief for me as he would be safe and getting help. I can’t bear the thought of losing him but on the other hand he is suffering so much. His daughter is having counselling as she’s a proper daddy’s girl. I just feel stressed and have a doctors app tomorrow about my blood pressure.

Hope everyone is bearing up and sorry for the bit of a rant. Maggie don’t worry about you huge Xmas tree just be pleased Les will Be there with you 

Helen x

Hi Vicky snd torry al everyone else. This year has gone so quick. I won’t worry about the Christmas tree Helen but no doubt Les will want it down and out. I really feel for you with your son, it must be an awful situation.  Ask the doctor about getting something to see you through.  Les has really bad tingling in his feet and hands and now the colder weather is here they are so cold. Been looking at hand warmers, any suggestions would be welcome. I bought the electric heat pad and that helps his fissure a lot. Probably hear in 2 to 3 weeks from the freeman about his liver and see the oncologist on 30 this month to see how he is getting on. They won’t touch the tumour in his bowel until the liver is sorted. 

Vicky it is lovely you have your wee grandchild over to stay and they are great at that age. The eldest used to stay every Friday but the youngest with lockdown would not stay as she wants her mummy. They are proper little characters at that age. Happy birthday for next week and try and enjoy it. Have a drink for jay.  I see where you are coming from with the little signs as if jay is watching over you.   My dad passed when I was 19 and mum over 30 years ago. They had me when they were older as I think I was a mistake as brother is 13 years older but I was happy.  

Jkee hope you are bearing up with Simon and puppy is behaving himself. 

take care and keep posting Maggie xx

Morning Vicky nice to hear from you you have been in my thoughts last year was the start of our nightmare journey we didn't have a Christmas as Simon was just at the start in hospital with blood clots sepsis and the the blockage and the Cancer. Even though Simon has only had one chemo because it effected his heart he to Vicky has no feeling in his hands and feet and muscle aches our appointments start for mri scans etc in January so even though they sent him home to just enjoy his life I am dreading the result so will embrace the noise the hard work and stress if we get to Christmas can't think that far just today is enough.Helen it must be a worry for you with Paul isn't life cruel and his poor daughter gosh my heart breaks you deserve a break hugs to you. Maggie Simon same as Les  cannot do anything but still wants to see the large tree up even kids say no mum you must they are going to do it didn't bother last year today so far ok puppy getting better little grandson popped in now his new friend love to you all as always xx

Think I will do a tree this year. I've been arguing with myself whether to put one up or not. Didn't really bother much with decorations last year the way Jay was Christmas was not a priority think I put window stickers up and couldn't abide the flashing lights and `hoo ha`. I'll try to make an effort in some way though even if it's just a bit of tinsel here and there and a tree. Need a tree for the wee one coming over. Thanks Maggie my birthday will be very low key I'll probably have a right good bubble to myself and maybe a bottle of wine and big long straw and feel sorry for myself under the circumstances I'm allowing myself to be this year. Got a stomach bug today not done much all day. Was in the loo most of last night so pleased I don't have Myla this weekend don't think I could have handled her texted William to make alternative arrangements if he was working this weekend but as luck would have it he's giving it a miss this weekend as he too said he wasn't feeling great earlier this week so it must be the `winter bug` season. Just feel like a sack of spuds. Keep well ladies as best you can and have a nice weekend if possible. 

Vicky xx

Hi Everyone!

Just checking in to see how you all are. Busy week for me this week. I have my sister staying with me again as she has a few hospital appointments this week. On our way to see her surgeon soon-post op follow up and then she goes for her covid/flu jag this Wednesday and back to the hospital on Thursday to get that rogue polyp taken out. Was my birthday last Tuesday (21st) and it just felt so surreal celebrating it on my own the first time without Jay but at the same time was quite peaceful. I just consoled myself that he was somewhere around wishing me Happy Birthday. William and Nicole and Myla took me out on Friday night for a belated birthday dinner so that was nice of them. Starting to see the Christmas decorations all going up now hard to believe its only 3/4 weeks until Christmas where has the year gone?? Hope you are all bearing up well. Helen hope you're keeping ok and Maggie and JKee hope Simon and Les are ok too as well as yourselves. Keep well everyone. Take Care. 

Vicky x

Hi Vicky. I am pleased you went out for a belated birthday. I have seen loads of decorations up. You are right this year has just gone.  My ventricular ectopics have been non stop so rang the doctors and they said nothing will be done about them. Asked for a private referral as they make you very tired and lethargic and the more you have the more your anxious. A never ending circle.  Last week was horrendous with them and I can do without that. I hope your sister will be good this week as she has a lot of appointments.  Les seeing the oncologist this Thursday and probably that is why I am getting worked up.  

I hope everyone else is okay and not too stressed.  Sending hugs Maggie xx

Hi Vicky glad you are well Happy Birthday for last week our families are so important My children keep telling me to put tree up but not feeling it I know t's daft but feels like ptsd from last year and of course we are still going through it but I will for the grandchildren. The eldest wrote to Santa to say all he wants this year is grandad to be here.Your sister is doing well bless her nice to hear good news take good care of each other xx