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Hi Thedaughter 

So glad you reached out tonight . It’s so hard seeing your parent going through this and being so poorly in hospital . I think it’s so hard to balance out your thoughts as you can’t count or discount the future and leaves you dealing with the emotional uncertainty.

I would say though turning up and pouring your love on them as you are is probably now something I draw such comfort from with my own dad .

If it’s any consolation my own mum had a very tough week last week and magnesium was low with a few other issues which were so hard for her .

Her poor arms are a mess from all the IV cannulas . 

Hope this helps your mum . Low potassium is horrible . My mum had it a long time ago and really knocked her off . Weak , loose bowel movements , confusion the lot but it did balance out . 

Keep posting. We are here for you .

Court 

Thankyou so much for your response,  it brings much comfort. 

And yes I plan to just be there and tell her how much I love her everyday 

Thankyou x

Hello Thedaughter!

Just read your post and it sounds so similar to what I am going through at the minute. My husband now has inoperable and incurable bowel cancer. His symptoms began at the end of 2020 when he needed to go to the toilet more frequently. As we were still in lockdown, he was told to send a stool sample to the GP who then got back to him referring him for a colonoscopy where it was then picked up. Then following was a round of CT and MRI scans. He got his official diagnosis in July 2021. He then got a bowel resection operation and now has to wear a permanent stoma bag. He went into hospital in January 2022 and got the operation to remove the tumour and affected nodes. They got it all and he was told he was clear. Fast forward to May 2022 and he had a follow up appointment with his surgeon where she took bloods from him. Went away not thinking anymore about it and then got the letter that turned our world upside down. The letter said that his CEA levels had risen slightly and they would like him to go for another CT Scan. We then got a phone call to meet with the surgeon a couple of weeks later and then on the 21st June 2022 (our wedding anniversary) we got the news his cancer had returned more or less at the same location. He got started again on chemotherapy in August 2022 (CAPOX) but after 4 sessions had to stop because he became quite ill. He then had a break of a couple of months and restarted on 5FU (Irinotecan and Folfox) but only got to complete one session of that before becoming dehydrated and having low kidney function and was admitted to the Beatson Cancer hospital in Glasgow where it was found that the chemotherapy had actually damaged his kidneys so again no further chemotherapy could be offered. After that it was a succession of hospital admissions 3 times with sepsis related infections and literally yesterday he was readmitted with another infection he has had to have a double nephrostomy procedure to help drain his kidneys and now has to wear urine bags one on each side of his back and also has a urinary catheter fitted. In regards to his cancer there is nothing else they said that can be done. He too has lost so much weight he was a big chunky bloke at one time who loved his food but now has the appetite of a sparrow. This admisson this time is related to a blockage of one of his nephrostomies which they managed to flush and got them working again. His blood pressure was dangerously low again and the infection is quite bad. They have not said if it is sepsis again but one of the specialists who saw him said he was in danger of developing septic shock which is bad in itself.

So this is where we are now. I still maintain if he got some post chemotherapy treatment after his tumour operation as a precaution `mop up` chemo I think they call it, his cancer may not have returned. I asked his oncologist at the time about that and he said if it was not necessary, they didn't do it even as a precaution. Still feel slightly bitter about that. Sending my best wishes to you, your mum and family. Take Care.

Vicky x

Hi Thedaughter

Im so sorry that you are going through this. 
Watching your mum with this evil disease is terrible 

I hope that you can get her home and have some quality time together. I love what you said that you plan to tell her how much you love her. 

My daughter is like you and has shown us over and over how much she loves us in her care and just being there  It means so much to both my husband and me when we have been poorly she’s there in a heart beat

Remember to take care of you too 

If it helps keep talking her 

Sending you a hug 

I am so sorry to read your story, and yes definitely has a similar stance, I have just got back from the hospital today and they have now given my mum a terminal diagnosis, I can't help wondering if they had seen her sooner back in December when the pain and problems started would it be different, there is treatment avaliable but very aggressive and my mum just isn't well.enough, they have also said she could.look at palatine chemotherapy, but because of how she reacted to the treatment before,  she has declined . 

My mum is amazingly strong, is not scared and is going to take everyday as it comes. 

I feel overwhelmed this is not what I expected 5 weeks later, but find some comfort that someone has finally been straight to the point and been honest at what we are dealing with, like they said can't say how long she has got, and if she gets stronger she could defi the diagnosis as many have..

I hope.i can be strong like my.mum.

My heart goes out to you, and your husband and I send you a massive hug back .

Xx

Thankyou so much,  it's nice to hear how your daughter being there br9ngs so much comfort, and hoping it gives my mum comfort.too, 

Finding this site and talking about things has certainly helped overload, and I walked along the sea front tonight , 

I am finding it extremely hard ... but one day at a time , 

Meeting palliative macmillan nurses Monday so hopefully will be of help to my mum and aiming home next week 

My mum is very spirited and determined to get stronger , Planning a little bucket list of things she would like to do, places to visit ect..... something positive to focus on 

Sending a hug back x

That sounds a good plan to have things to focus on for both of you will really help you both.

Hopefully once she gets home she will feel stronger in spirit then physically she will also improve 

Being home will be the best for her. Hospitals are not the best environment for rest. 

Take care 

Thank you. Yes it is so hard to watch them deteriorate in front of your eyes. When they told my husband he had cancer, they said that the tumour had been dormant for roughly 3 years beforehand so he had been literally walking around with it and not knowing he had it. They said it was operable at the time though because it was localised- no spread and that's how they got it all the first time but not this time sadly. As I said in my previous post I am very bitter that no post chemotherapy was offered at the time as I still think if that had been done they would have caught any stray cells that were too small to pick up on scans and stop them forming again which they did. He has had 3 sepsis infections as I said and now back in hospital again the doctor this time said he was in danger of going into septic shock but they caught it in time-again. He is definitely a fighter but don't know how long that can go on for. I just hope this time it is his last-please god and it just lets him be to live out what time he has left. He like your mum didn't want a prognosis he said he didn't want to sit and count down the weeks or months so like you we just take it a day at a time. It's all we can do. Take care. 

Vicky x

Hi Thedaughter

How are you today?

I hope that you’ve had some rest and the your mum is responding to her treatment  

Will you be there on 6th for the consult with the oncologist? 
Like you say though if she’s not well enough they may put that on hold 

Take care 

Hi, 

I'm hanging on thankyou , some tears at times , but there holding my mums hand. 

Hopefully be able to get her out of hospital ove rnext few days , mum has been in hospital 5 weeks and just wants to be back in her own bed now 

I'm scared of what will be but remains g positive for my mum, 

Had a bad day today, not much appetite,  vomiting and in a lot of pain, we listened to music, I  read to her and mum thinking about what songs she would like at her funeral.... it reals like it isn't real, my mum is amazing, very strong .