End of life decisions

Dear Hatariforce / Stephen

Thank you for sharing your positive message at such a difficult time. Such admirable strength and kindness.

Sending you both a large virtual hug.

Hi Hatariforce 

I read this last night with tears . Life seems to bring  beauty and pain entwined .

To reassure people but also face the reality of your situation with such strength and love is deeply touching .

Time is precious and we decided early on to try our best to live a good life in spite of a difficult diagnosis. Your post seems to echo that sentiment. 
Goodbyes are so very hard and you will remain in my  thoughts but having recently said goodbye to my dad I am also deeply satisfied that ever breath he took we were there and he was surrounded by love . You have a deep relationship and love will see you both through this process . You have a very special and beautiful relationship ,

I wish for peace and strength for you both .

Court 

Your positive attitude in the advice you have given has really resonated with myself , and really reminded me as individuals we are individuals not statistics! ( it’s so easy to emerge one’s self with online information and get consumed) 

precious time , precious moments , the glance, the smile and love & peace , wishes sent to you , your wife & family 

Hello Hatariforce/Stephen

I can relate to your post as just yesterday I got news just like yours. My husband is currently in High Dependency with developing sepsis for a 3rd time. Now they have said they can no longer continue with his chemotherapy because his immune system is in such a weakened condition and that the chemo would not help in any way at all now. Breathing assistance such as ventilators etc would not benefit either. We had `the talk` with the doctor yesterday and he said he is improving and that the blood pressure meds are doing their job in bringing it back up so much so that they think they can turn the meds down on that as the BP seems to be beginning to stabalise on it's own and antibiotics are still being administered. The cancer they said is not going to go away and more or less said it will run it's course and he will die with it. When that is though, no one knows. He got a prognosis from the oncologist to say that he had 9 months but that has been put on a backburner for now because they don't know. It could be months or another couple of years as the doc said they don't have a crystal ball to predict these things. What he did say though was that if he recovers from this bout of sepsis and in future gets it again which is a possibility, it might just take him. So from now on I think it will just be trying to make as many happy memories as possible. Sending you love and strength.

Vicky x

Hello PattyK/Vicky,

I am not an oracle of positive speeches. I can just talk about how it feels like and I am sure you feel the same. What you are going through is tough, difficult, soul destroying, tiring, painful and testing your sanity. You have stood by your man, neglecting yourself, stressing yourself out and running yourself to the ground. That's love. That is why we stand before witnesses and say "Through sickness and health we will stand by each other".

I feel your pain and hope that you can try to look after yourself as well, Take time for yourself. I find I have become a lot calmer, a lot more resilient, I don't get fazed by stupidity or malicious people. I have patience that I never had before.

I wish you the best and I send a virtual hug of strength and love. Keep well.

Stephen

Thank you Court for you kind words. You have been a strength on here for a lot of people and your input here has been invaluable.

I wish you the best in your Mom's new cancer battle and condolences for your Dad's passing.

Stephen

You’re both inspirational what strength & courage. My husband has just been diagnosed with stage 4 terminal cancer. I hioe i can show the dignity & courage you have shown if or when we reach that stage. My prayers ate with you