Hi all, thank you for accepting me. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At present I am not accepting it, it makes me feel sick, panicky, shaky etc. it was a complete shock. Anybody else in the same situation. Many thanks
Nice to hear Kevin and jay are settled. Patty can you not get up the list with jays condition or does that not count. We live in a bungalow we were doing up and of course it is never going to get finished. The grass is so long and he won’t let me get anyone in to do this. He started emptying the garage (wish I could send a photo) it is a double one to have a new one built for the motorhome. Well you should see the outside it looks like steptoe and sons. I do not find this relaxing at all. I hate long grass. I can’t do it as the petrol mower is far too heavy. Think yourselves lucky as this is just another to add to the list apart from not doing house chores etc. oh well I have to put up with it. Also doing probate for his mother and we’re emptying the bungalow but not doing that now. Moan over lol xx
You re welcome luvvi! We are al in this together as they say. On hindsight now I wish we had got a ground flat all those years ago but me being `security conscious` opted for an upper floor and seemingly the bottom flats were more liable to be broken into which was happening a few years back. But being in an upper can have its drawbacks too as I'm about to find out with Jay trying to get him up and downstairs again if he's able. My next door neighbours husband just got a diagnosis not long ago of FND (Functional Neurological Disorder) he has lost power to one of his arms and has a weak leg because of it so can't get out much. They had the beauty of being able to put in a patio door to the back of their house so at least he can get out in the garden for a while they were able to run it level with their floor so it's a case he just steps out and doesn't need to navigate steps. He has a wheelchair now too and had to give up driving because it affects his co-ordination and brain function as well. He can still walk be it a bit limited and talk as well but he forgets words and sometimes says his brain just shuts down from time to time. He's not an old man either just in his mid 50's I think. Always someone worse than yourself but in saying that I don't think his illness is terminal. Hope you're ok today.
No unfortunatley it doesn't count. I think it's just where you are on the list and I don't know if it's because we are owner/occupiers that they give priority to council tenants etc. I know of a couple who are there who are able bodied and the guy's mother and father live there and It would be disturbing to find out if they got the flat just to be near them. Seemingly these flats are for disabled and elderly but I think it's a situation that there is a loophole somewhere that anyone over the age of 16 can apply. They are only two high just like ours one ground floor and one upper and they are fitted with the alarm call systems and there is a live in warden who stays in the complex. It wouldn't bother me if I needed to pay rent just to know we were safe and secure would be enough for me it is so quiet there and you don't hear a thing. It's in the middle of a housing scheme- where we both grew up actually- but there is never any trouble and you wouldn't know you were in a housing scheme. I live in hope though that we may get a wee surprise and I'll get him somewhere quiet and settled before the enevitable happens- can't even bring myself to say it and at least I'd feel safe secure when he's gone. Take Care All
Dear Patty that is such a shame you can’t get in. We have warden controlled bungalows near us and they are lovely and also warden controlled flats which I would feel safe in. Les goes for his first scan on 11 may and dreading seeing the oncologist. I really hope it is shrinking but who knows. His mothers estate has gone to probate and should be about September and then we can sell her bungalow. This is all happening too quick for my liking. Take care all and as usual you are all in my thoughts xx
Just remember we are all going through this awful cancer journey we are here anytime I feel the same it's the not knowing what the future has for us all how long do we have what shall we do I get angry that no one understands and just getting on with their lives which I know I shouldn't think that way. Your son and beautiful grandaughter need you but I think talking helps family not really wanting to hear me now love to you xx
Jkee has your hubby got the same as ours. It is a devastating disease and I feel for you. You are right about daughters, sons and grandchildren needing us. We don’t have much family if you read all the posts but I have one good friend who lives about 4 miles away who looks after our grandchildren due to his immunity but we do see them regularly if they do not have a sniffle. I am worried if he catches anything. He has been sleeping a lot since Saturday afternoon and I hope it is the affects of his 3rd chemo session. As always in my thoughts. Maggie xx
So, Jay has been on the phone again. Don't really know how to feel about this because if I get elated again, I feel I'll be setting myself up for a fall as I have had so many disappointments recently with getting my hopes up too quick. Palliative care went in to see him today I didn't know they were going in today and I don't think he did either or just forgot. Anyway, he put me on speakerphone so I could join in with the conversation. They are delighted that the pain management patches are working seemingly the dose was upgraded and they have been working. He is saying that he can sit upright in bed now and is able to pull himself up without getting any pain or discomfort. He said too he can bend his legs upwards and not get any discomfort either and about 2 or 3 weeks ago he couldn't do that because it was bringing on the discomfort. We ended the call because physiotherapy were coming in to start working with him. He's not long off the phone again and said he has been up walking with a frame and physio are happy with him at that too. He said he walked from the door of his room back to his bed and walked a circle in the middle of the floor. He thought he would struggle with that because he has more less been in bed for almost two weeks so I think he has amazed himself. He has tired himself out though which is to be expected because he hasn't done so much exertion in that time. Physio will be back again on Friday he thinks or Monday next week. So fingers crossed, wood touched etc that this is a sign of better things. Please God.
Hi Maggie yes Simon had right side hemicolectomy after a emergency blockage found large mass that had spread out to lymph nodes before this was in hospital with blood clots at Christmas had scans but they said something was there but he caught Covid sent him home to wait for a appointment.Week later ambulance rushed him him found massive mass that had spread had sepsis from all the toxins due for chemo but only on day 4 rushed in with heart pain 10 days in hospital enlarge aorta and kidney and gallballder attacked by chemo . Had a meeting oncologist said chemo would kill him so sorry nothing we can do go enjoy your life.We are still I think in shock from all the emergencies but Simon is always saying I'm still here me well I feel like this bomb will explode anytime. I have 4 grown up children that live away I just tell them only what they need to know their poor lives had change too and my beautiful grandchildren just hearing there sweet little voices breaks my heart. Grandad is idolised by them they call him silly grandad but now call him poorly grandad I feel very alone with it like everyone on here family were on phone at the start but now when they ring say how is here feel like screaming what do you want me to say just wish like Vicky he could have had chemo but sun is shining sat in garden with my thought did't realize how nature helps love to you all wish we could all be together but i quess we are xx
Wow at last some good news and yes that is good news hopefully by the time he is back with you he will be stronger and you can enjoy the sunshine that is on the way so I keep telling myself.Has to be some good news to help you out the darkness sending hugs x
