Hi all, thank you for accepting me. My husband has been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer. At present I am not accepting it, it makes me feel sick, panicky, shaky etc. it was a complete shock. Anybody else in the same situation. Many thanks
Amazed myself this morning and actually went out in the car. I've had it in my head all morning and once the homecarer had gone after seeing to Jay I took the dog out and then `took the bull by the horns` `faced the fear` and all the other cliches, and just did it. Went round the block first time and it was no bother just trying to remember its an automatic and the gears change themselves and I am constantly looking to change gears having driven a manual before. I had to get a repeat perscription for my depression meds at the health centre so that gave me another excuse to go out in it. That was scary! but I had the `P` plates up just to let other drivers know. Jay of course was his usual doubtful self and tried to plant the seeds of doubt in me again saying things like `if anything happens which I hope won't` the insurance document it in the glove compartment he added me to the insurance. Went up to the health centre but of course was full and couldn't get parked so just parked in the sports centre car park next door and walked round. Jay still not up yet but he is saying he will definitely get up later he needs to because I need to change the sheets one of his urine bags burst last night very late on so just had to put towels under him until morning until it could be done. He still hasn't moved for me to change it and now he's moaning about lying in piss again. Just hope he moves today but at least I've given myself a little bit of a sense of achievement. Take Care.
Well done Vicky. Very proud of you. Get some puppy pads to put underneath as they are easier to change if it leaks again. I can’t believe you did it and got in the car. Just waiting for hubby to come home from chemo. Again Vicky well done you. As usual heartfelt hugs to all. Maggie xx
Actually got a real adrenaline buzz from it still sitting trying to believe that I actually did that. Think that's my quota for the day though will maybe try to get out a little in it everyday to get my confidence again even just local running around. My mobile just went a little while ago and it was the community rehab team phoning to get Jay back on their books for physio treatment again. This day just gets better!! just hope I'm not setting myself up for a fall again. They said because he went into hospital he was taken off their books for some reason so they have received another referral from the hospital they said and will be putting that through. The physio asked Jay about what he can and can't do and spoke about his stomach discomfort and she said there is exercises they can put in place to deal with that so hopefully. He still said he will get up later today for me to change the bed. I have the disposable waterproof bed sheets Maggie I need to start putting them on again as I haven't been bothering because he hasn't been here obviously and a waterproof sheet you put on top of the sheets that tuck in at the sides. I'll do all that later once he's up. Hope Les is ok with his chemo today. Take Care.
Wow Vicky well done at least now when things get too much just drive round the corner and sit in car if need be I have found for the first time in my life I really wish I could drive either for hospital trip visits or just to get out the house. Pray he gets up today now that would be perfect xx
Bless you Maggie it is really difficult the waiting hope I think we are all on the same roller coaster with the anxiety and stress I often say would love to feel happy again but grateful for every day at minute no matter what it throws sleep not had that for months but we understand every feeling you are all going through xxx
He is back thankfully his bloods were okay to go ahead. He looks so drained and his voice is all sqeeky. I can’t bear it as we all know the way they used to be. I feel like crying seeing him like this. Goodness knows how you all cope. Love to all Maggie xx
Good they were able to go ahead with his session. They used to do this with Jay he would have his appointment with the oncologist the day before his chemo session I remember and they would do the bloods then. He was ok up to session 4 then it had to stop and had a break for a month or so before starting the new run but got stopped too. Yes Jay's voice seemed to go a bit `high pitched` and gravelly and this was a side effect. I used to think his voice sometimes was reduced to a whisper and he has always had one of those big booming voices you know you hear them before you see them and I always had to tell him to turn his voice down a decibel when he was sitting next to me he used to shout instead of speaking. His voice is slowly getting back to normal but not so much the `boom` think that has gone for good now.
I knew this day was going too well. Jay has just had a fall. He was trying to get out of bed and grabbed his zimmer frame and lost his balance. I just hope this isn't the beginning of the end and he isn't going to just stay in bed now and not be able to get up. I am literally shaking with fear.
Oh Vicky i'm so sorry was you with him or did he try on his own bless him I hope he is ok must have been awful for you both really sending hugs to you xx
