Bowel cancer carers, family and friends chat

Granddaughter still here! So much for William coming to collect her this morning. Texted n asked when I can expect them and he said at 2 but that could go to 3 William never actually appears when he says he will. Quite sharp with me because I said I didn't have a lot in for her lunch as I've had to do that. I'm not buying in a lot of foodstuffs just now because Jay doesn't have the same appetite as before and sometimes stuff gets wasted so I just buy what I need just now and what I think he'll eat. So ended up making her an omlette think if you have eggs you can still make something out of those so she's scoffed a wee bit of that. Don't keep things in the house for her as we don't get to babysit her much these days because both their shifts work in and if one is at work the other one is at home for her and she goes to nursery a couple of days a week. It's very seldom these days and only in an instance like this if the two of them want a night out I don't mind that. Suits me at the moment though. I love her to bits but really, I could see her far enough just now with what's going on just bad timing just now.  That's good if the puppy is beginning to settle a bit Jkee he'll be a great companion for Simon. Hope Les manages to pick up a bit Maggie yes the chemo does have a tendency to age them slightly I think. Jay just looks like a carbon copy of his `old man` just now the way I remember him. Kids TV just about starting to get on my nerves just now but it keeps her quiet. Take Care All!

Vicky x

Vicky we used to babysit every Saturday and by the time they went home from 8 til 5 the cartoons were on all the time. We also babysat all day Tuesday and the same again. As I said Les is a hoarder and when they were old enough brought it all down from the loft from when Lucy was a baby. There is boxes of stuff all at the back of my room. We don’t babysit now due to Les.  I must admit at least we are not up on a Saturday but I am usually anyway.  

Jkee the puppy will make you laugh. We said no more after our last one went as the vet bills were ridiculous.  I had chihuahuas and bred off 2 of them but I kept 3 and I made good friends and still see one of the puppies mummy. He will be 14 this year. They came down the other week. Guess what they were both diagnosed with bowel cancer but his had not spread so had it cut out. 

that is all you hear at the moment it is awful. 

I have done my windows, ironing and now trying to clean the pond and that is not small as the 9 koi we have are nearly 2 foot long. I will smell dreadful when finished. 

huge hugs to all Maggie xx

Well done Maggie you have a achieved a lot today it make me feel better if my jobs are done silly I know but it's one of the things that makes me feel better cleaning. Puppy got took into the town everyone stopping to ask to touch him amazing how people chat if you have a puppy Simon resting with the dog been asleep 3 hours should have shut my eyes but cleaned the bathroom done ironing oops spoke to soon puppy awake hugs to all xx

Glad you done a lot. I have just been out in the garden and hot told off for chopping one of the roses down so I could see the wood for the trees. I have come in now and not doing anymore. It is a mess. He has gone in a mood with me. The only thing I am good for is cleaning but woe betide me if I throw anything out. Managed to put 2 cups in the bin yeah. 

Good afternoon ladies I am having a lazy day doing absolutely nothing- going to sit in the Garden with a book and ice cream. Will get those jobs done another day.

Had councillors on the phone and starting a six week course soon - of course I was blubbing down the phone but ok.

Don’t work  too hard girls enjoy the sun while it’s here

love Helen x

Thanks Maggie!

And here am I thinking I'm hard done by for a few hours babysitting. Sitting here breaking my heart. Jay just been on the phone saying he has had the palliative care doctor in to see him wants to come to the house to speak with us. Been trying to avoid that because it just makes everything feel so final so real that it is actually happening. I am just in a terrible state now. He phoned and asked me if it will be alright for them to come but I suppose I can't keep avoiding it. It's just that they seem to spread `doom and gloom` all the time you know its eventually going to happen but it feel to me that they are just rubbing salt in the wounds. God I was so full of hope that he was getting over his infection then you get hit with this. This is why I can never get positive about anything. Always something there just waiting to come and slap you back down. 

Sorry to hear that, are they going to talk to you both together? I was just a wreck, Kevin seemed so strong when they talking and told me not to worry - of course that’s all you do. We had Sally there as well as I don’t seem to take stuff in think I  just glazed over. 

it may not be as bad as you think - try to be positive as  Jay might just be putting a front on for you. 

take care and know I’m thinking of you 

Helen x

Hi Patty gosh that is all you need.  It does make it more real when you speak to them. We are there on the 15 and I am dreading that. It is hard work babysitting when other things are on your mind. Cry as much as you like and let it all out as you know you have to be strong as much as you can for when he gets home and the conversation. 

Helen just relax and enjoy the sun. The same goes for you to, let it all out when you need to. 

I just need to put my big pants on. Somehow I find that hard at present. 

now take care you lovely dedicated ladies. Huge hugs for all. Maggie xx

Thanks Helen!

Of course, you have been through it all already. Well, been back on and spoke to him once I calmed myself down a bit and he said `I never listen` and there I go jumping the gun again. Just can't be optimistic. Well he said the palliative care doctor told him his cancer had grown but only very slightly. Don't know whether to feel relieved or what after he told me that don't know if that means it may stabalise and not go anywhere for a while but just sit there.  Spoke to William as well as he wants updated on everything going on with his dad-naturally. He said palliative care are coming in because when Jay comes home he will probably spending 90% of his time in bed so they just need to see what needs done and if we are going to need anything to make him more comfy and it's not `the end of the line` as he said I said. Definitely an old head on young shoulders that boy. He has friends who have lost relatives to cancer and says this is what palliative care do and it's not the end although they do deal with end of life care too. Can't help but look on the bleak side when you have lost so many people to cancer already. Hope you enjoyed your day doing nothing. Take Care.

xx

Thank you Maggie!

To save myself repeating myself I've posted a reply to Helen you can read.

xx