Don't know what to do

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Hi all

My wife was diagnosed with bowel cancer back in June last year. Scans then showed it had spread to her liver and lungs. Chemo was rough because her blood platelets were low and it delayed the chemo. She is drink dependent so cannot or will not stop. Her liver has sclerosis as well as cancer. Her lungs have got worse even after chemo. We are now half way through another cycle of chemo and she is very tired and frail. I've been off work for 6 weeks with a hernia operation so it's been ok because I've been home doing the household chores plus looking after her with making sure she takes her medication etc. 

I'm due back to work on Monday and don't know what to do. I don't want to live with regret and both our kids who are parents themselves in their 30s have said I should give up work. I'm 57 and still need to pay bills etc. Just don't know what to do. 

Work is very stressful as I am a manager of men . 

Any thoughts will be greatly appreciated 

  • Hi Coys welcome to the forum and sorry that you have not had a reply as yet. I am so very sorry to hear about what is happoening  for you and how unwell you yourself have been and trying to keep going. 

    It has to be your decision as to whether you give up work or could your work allow you some leave as your wifes Carer for example or even reduced working  hours for a period of time. 

    I wonder if you felt able to that you could speak to one of the welfare and benefits advisors at Macmillan and have a chat with them and see iff thee are able to offer any advice re this for you. 08088080000. 

  • Hi  

    Welcome to the forum . You most certainly have a lot on your plate .

    Two very different illnesses and trying to meet the needs and demands of both can be very trying . At the end of the day you are just one person . You can’t possible meet every need .

    Apart from the financial side do you find it beneficial to be at work ? Your needs matter too .

    I would definitely give the helpline a phone to have a look at the options open to you .

    We are hear on the forum to listen and support too so please keep chatting . It’s a tough situation you are in .

    Take care ,

    Court 

    Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

  • Thank you. I've got a fit note for 2 weeks so will see how I feel after that. I'm good when at work but my job is very stressful as well. Thanks for being there