Been a new member for a week or so, and wanted to reach out to the community fo some support and advice........
After Dad had a 5 day course of radiotherapy in July follow up scans showed some reduction in size of tumour in lower bowel. The consultant was positive & offered Dad surgery, looking at a curative outcome.
Since his diagnosis in May and facing the prospect of survival for a year to 18months this was a whole new path for him to go down. Dad says he feels as well as he did prior to diagnosis and, whilst he is aware that the cancer will spread, he is unsure about going for major surgery. He's very independent and selfless + doesn't want to lose his lifestyle/ rely on care. Obviously there are so many unknowns / things that can't be predicted and that's causing him uncertainty in his decision making. The consultant suggested we accept booking in for surgery so he could get the pre assessment appointments to assist in this.
Before he attended his 1st of 2 appointments he was phoned & offered a surgery date of Dec 7th. Dad was anxious that he was being urged to get the surgery done and it took some explaining that it was to ensure he had a date if he chose is to go ahead..
The team we saw were all positive that Dad is fit to go ahead with key hole op... removal of tumour, associated L.Nodes & margin of tissues which would be examined to ascertain any spread. Also removal of polyp higher up. Permanent stoma.
He had a phone consultation with stoma nurse on Friday. (I'm going to follow up tomorrow as Dad finds it difficult to communicate on phone)
He had been told not to feel under pressure to make decisions. We are very appreciative that he's fortunate with waiting times being an issue for so many people. However, I feel he's overwhelmed with everything moving so quickly and only a week or so before the op date. Does anyone have any similar experience and/ or any advice to help with this step in his journey? Thanks in advance.
Hi Bluestar
I think it’s weighing up the pros and cons. I have always tried to have no regrets . But to get to the choices I’ve made means lots of research on the possible outcomes between yes and no.
So if you can find out as much as possible on the benefits of having the surgery that may help. Also what is the expected outcome of not having the surgery.
The stoma is an adjustment but it’s no bother to look after and I had freedom with it unlike before the LAR when I was close to blocking and so much discomfort
I asked my surgeon what would happen if I didn’t have the surgery. That gave me the answer I needed. I did seriously consider both options. I hope this helps
Take care
Ann
Hi
I felt fit enough prior to my surgery and had contemplated not having it but then I thought about the risk I was taking and that my prognosis without it was 6-12 months. No brainer for me in the end as I live life, my family and nature, and I'm not ready to give up. I will live with the potential return of the cancer but having had the APR and a oermanent stoma ("Eddie Stomart"), I'm fit, strong and happy.
I always consider the upsides rather than the downsides.
Hope this helps 
Hi.... thank you for your thoughts and explaining some of your journey. Much appreciated as its been a bit of a whirlwind the last few days. We have a lot to cram in as they have a slot for Surgery next Wednesday. I just worry he's feeling under pressure to accept this date and I want him to be comfortable with his decision. He will see his Consultant at the pre op endoscopy next Monday so hopefully that will allow him to put things in perspective.
Thank you again. It's a great help to join this group and not feel quite so isolated
