Help/guidance re Coping with bowel/rectal leakage

Hi Piglady

I wanted to say hello also you sound pretty amazing with all that you’ve got to cope with 

Although I’m in a different position than your mum I recently had a reversal after thirteen months with an Ileostomy 

Early days I wore a faecal pad to bed with large pants and I was surprised how slim and easy they were to deal with. They fit inside the underwear and are removed simply I could have worn them out it need be. They gave me confidence to go to me nurse to have my dressings changed. I tried the tenna type of pant however as I had urgency in getting to the toilet they were not easy for me to manage. Your mum may find them okay
I improved after a ten days and I wore the extra long slim pads. I think they were Always I liked them because they’re long and slim so I could position them in the appropriate place

It would be really good if your mum comes around to going to see see the Team. They’ve definitely moved on and have more suggestions than I 

Sending you a hug 

Hello Piglady!

My husband suffers from this. He has a permanent stoma due to his bowel cancer which came back after 6 months of the team getting it all out in January this year. He still feels as though he has the urge to poo from his behind and he still gets a slight discharge like- not to be too graphic a gel like discharge. He gets it mainly at night and has started to wear gents Tena pants to bed. He was like your mum shoving bits of kitchen towel/ toilet roll up his `bahooki` in case of leaks in bed. He mentioned this to his oncologist, and he said this will always happen it just seems bad a nightime just now it happens when he first gets up in the morning, but it goes away as the day goes on and then for some reason comes back at night. Must be so frustrating for your wee mum and I can relate to the not wanting to go out bit. My husband Jay is 68 years old and since he retired 3 years ago he just has not had a break health wise from being diagnosed first with type 2 diabetes which we were managing to get on top of before the cancer diagnosis which apparently had been dormant for 4 years previously before symptoms began to surface late 2020 and getting an official diagnosis in July last year then leading to surgery January 2022 and cancer returning June 2022 so we're hoping present treatment of combined chemotherapy will work or be able to control it in some way. His last cycle hit him for six and he has not been able to do much of anything and just sits in a chair watching TV all day and won't go out unless it means going out in the car. I hope you get a solution for your mum. Take Care. 

Vicky

Hi Artsie Anne, hope you're ok & managing to keep warm? Sorry for the delay in replying to you. Time at the mo is whizzing by. Thank you so much for your inspirational message. It was really useful & gave me positive information to use when I spoke to mum. And it convinced her to have an appointment with the Continence team! She's had some pads delivered today tho she hasn't tried them out as yet. Hubby & I have this week come back from a 2 wk holiday in the sun. Which hubby certainly needed. Tho the situation with mum did come up a couple of times, especially as her appointment with the Continence team came through for when I was away. This impacted on us resulting in a couple of flare-ups & me in floods & hysterical sobbing. So not a totally relaxing time. We popped to mum's for a quick hello just after my Osteopath appt & before seeing hubby's sister. Mum was sat in her chair all huddled up, blanket over her knees, all doom & gloom saying she can't move at all or she 'leaks'. As a result she hasn't been showering, tho there is a seat for her to use. My older brother, who fortunately does still live at home, has said for the last 2 weeks he's been having to almost wait on her hand & foot. She passed out a couple of weeks ago in the bathroom. My brother who lives with her wanted to call an ambulance but she wouldn't hear of it. Said if she went into hospital she wouldn't come out again. Hubby thinks it's partly because I've been away. But I don't need that guilt factor on top of everything else that's going on. I'm getting to my wits end to be honest. I'm typing this now while on the way to my sister-in-law & I'm struggling to fight back the tears. I really don't know how or what to suggest to mum anymore. Do I say 'poor you' or 'no good sitting there feeling sorry for yourself, you've got to fight this'. I really don't know- help!

Hi Vicky hope you're ok & keeping warm? Thank you for your message. Good to know in a weird way that mum's not the only one. I wondered if you have any success in encouraging your hubby to move from his chair & move about the house. Mum now seems to feel she can't move from her chair as the slightest movement will cause her to leak. She has now been seen by the Continence team & had a set of pads delivered. Tho she hasn't tried them yet. Dreading Christmas day. 

Hi Piglady

Im sorry you’re having such a bad time. It sounds as if your mother is suffering from depression which can be difficult to help when you’re close emotionally. 
Does her GP know her mental health situation?

The incontinence pads give us freedom to move about also she needs to shower or she will be very sore. Believe me it’s really uncomfortable I know. I have flare ups

I bought a portable bidet it’s just a bottle with a long sprayer. It’s such a relief to swill the area after going to going to the toilet 

Food is another way to bulk up allowing for more control. Basically low fibre. The incontinence team will have ways of her managing her issues they will also have medication to help 

I hope that your GP can help her with some meds. I take serotonin tablets 5mg as I can’t get enough in my diet  and were a game changer 

Hi thank you so much for getting for getting back in touch. You have been such an amazing star with all the useful info you've sent through.

Mum probably is depressed too. I suffer myself with Bipolar Disorder. The hard part is trying to convince mum to 'give things a go'. I think it's of a generation thing to. 'We don't talk about things down there'. Whereas I think nowadays we're more 'Well if it might help I'll give it a go'. 

She's had a change of blood pressure tablets too recently & I don't really think it was the right time to do this on top of everything else. Depression could also be a side effect of the new tablets. I'll have to look at the PIL. 

Thank you again for all your help. Hope you have an amazing Christmas & a healthy 2023!

Lx

Thanks Piglady 

I hope that your Mum gains her mojo.
From my own experience my diet doesn’t provide what I need. It’s not a happy pill it’s what my body needs that I can’t provide it through my diet. Your mum may be more positive about it if put that way.

If she’s sat immobile she will have fainting spells when standing which could be her concerns.

She’s not moving about so blood pressures very low and the tablets now that they have been adjusted may cause the dizzy spells. My mum was frightened of falling but she sat down all the time then wobbled. I’m not a medic it’s past experience with my mother.  

I hope that you can get her more mobile. 

But please look after yourself if you have Bipolar you really need to put yourself first allowing you to have the mental health to help your Mother 

Sending you a hug 

Hi Piglady! 

Nice to hear from you. Jay my hubby is actually in at the Beatson Cancer unit in Glasgow because he developed a really bad chest infection. He started his 2nd course of chemo last Friday he was having flu like symptoms one minute boiling hot the next freezing cold so I phoned them and they said they needed to have in to look him over and as it turned out he has a chest infection. A lot of winter bugs going round just now and this is what they are putting it down to and because of chemo his immune system is very low so open to infections like that. Jay still wears the disposable pants a wee bit of security for him at night time. Take Care. 

Vicky x