Having A Wobble

Hi Everyone!

Coming on here just to chat because I'm having a little bit of `wobble` today. I thought i was doing so well and being reassured with Jay's chemo treatment but I'm feeling a bit emotional. The thing is it was our wee granddaughter Myla's 2nd birthday today and we were over at my son and fiancée's house, and I was just looking at her and how much she has actually blossomed in those two years, and it got me thinking how many more of her birthdays will Jay see. He is great just now and so far, (touch wood) is tolerating his treatment well. I mentioned this a couple of days ago with him having to get more blood tests and how fearful I am that something is going to show that we were not aware of. Everything is just going so well just now but I am forever thinking there is something just around the corner ready to throw a spanner in the works. He finishes this cycle of tablets tomorrow and we are off over the caravan again for a couple of days before we need to come back and the whole thing starts again more blood tests at the GP oncology appointment and then the next chemo cycle starts next Friday (30th Sept). He is now starting to see this far enough, and I am scared he'll decide he's had enough although this is only his 2nd cycle he thought it was only 2 cycles he had to go through I don't know where he got that from the norm is usually 6-8 but they can't really say just now how many he is going to need but he says he wants to see it through. he is beginning to draw into himself again slightly but I know this is all down to the treatment- well at least I think it is. We are making plans for the future and living life as normal, so I've been able to relax that bit more but as I said its always at the back of mind that everything is just going to come crashing down. I'm on here and hope there is someone or some of you can relate to what I'm going through today I'm almost in tears writing this. Thanks. 

Vicky