Hi, I am not the one with this but my mom is. We are still,as a family, trying to come to terms with diagnosis, treatment and outcome. For the last 10 years my mom has been treated by GP for constipation. We then moved in, as our new build was not finished, so we experienced first hand her agony. She was plied with laxatives etc. Then covid, so she was diagnosed over the phone and even more laxatives prescribed. She had a fall but nothing noted. 12 months on, we have moved into our new build she has another fall, top to bottom of stairs. She was taken to hospital on blues and twos. She was discharged within 12 hours. Then she has a letter to ask her to go for an appointment. She is 85, and assumed it was about her chipped hip. Totally unprepared, my dad with my mom attended the appointment to be told the Drs were 99% sure she had co rectal cancer. They wanted all tests done within 4 weeks. Needless to say this took 10 weeks. I went with them to the appointment after all the scans. She was told it was cancer and her only choice was a stoma. She really did not understand. The consultant was understanding and basically kept repeating there was nothing they could do except alleviate the symptoms. They prescribed quality of life over quantity. I have to say I was taking notes yet my parents were oblivious, totally shocked. We were taken with a nurse to another room to think about what to do. I have to add, my mom has rheumatoid arthritis so struggles with hand movements, with other things.
We were then shown how to attach bag etc, mom totally bewildered asked what I would do. Selfishly, I said I would have stoma as she is my om and I cannot bear to see her in so much pain. Within 6 hours of her decision she is booked in and has her op . Then the problem that she is not allowed home until many aids are in place.
Mom is home and managing her stoma quite well. I am not allowed to see or help but my 90 year old dad is! She has had palliative radiation which made her very tired.
However, in her head there are so many things she was told pre op that she cannot eat that now she will not include in her very limited diet.
She is awaiting her telephone consultation, after her post MRI yet she is convinced the tumour is bigger as she says she cannot sit for long as it is pushing out of her bottom.
As her anxious daughter, is this normal or is she right? Plus can she eat normally? Yesterday was her 87th birthday and she had a jacket potato as she is unsure what she can eat.
I know my mom is old and there are much younger people suffering too, but she is so used to doing as she is told she will not vary so her diet is very bland.
Today, even after palliative radiotherapy, she says she knows the tumour is bigger as she can feel it and finds sitting uncomfortable. How can I help and make her believe what he consultant is telling her.
Sorry for this missive but I am still reeling from this. As are my parents.
