Colonoscopy- tumour found

Hi, Charian, firstly you've done the right thing by coming on here. That's exactly how mine was diagnosed at the colonoscopy, and they were ringing me to set up scans whilst I was being driven home!! Yes it is a big blow, feel free to rant on here . It played on my mind too, but they were very quick in setting up the MDT once the scan results had come back, I met the surgeon and a date for the operation was fixed. I went straight as it was nearly blocked, best out! They had a cancellation so I got it earlier, so a month after diagnosis I was operated on.

I have to say, for some strange reason I didn't think I was going to wake up after, and even told the anaesthetist !! I obviously did! But before going to hospital I used to chill and reflect in the evenings, and I suddenly came to accept my fate for some reason, and became calm. Perhaps you have a happy place you can try and still your mind in? Normally mine goes overboard so I know how difficult it can be. 

You still have a future. Its just that it might be slightly different from the one you envisioned. 

Feel free to rant on here, it helps! Sending calming (((hugs)))

This is the hardest bit in my opinion.  You hear those words ‘you have cancer’ and then nothing and just left with your ow thoughts.  Please come on the forum, chat to people and try and keep busy until you know what you are facing.  I slept a lot, worried a lot and found comfort here on this site.  Until you know what you are facing, just try and take each day as it comes.  Don’t think about tomorrow, or next week - just today.  Spend topi extra with family and friends, talk about your feelings.  Try and get to maggies if you have one close or even just call the Macmillan hotline to talk to someone.  We are all here, have been where you are and completely feel your anxiety.  It does get better once you know what you are facing and the treatment plan put in place for you.  Take care, keep talking and know we are all here xx

Hi Charian

Like you I was in shock and my head all over the place, couldn’t think of anything else and the worst thoughts. This is definitely the hardest bit not knowing anything but once you know what your dealing with and have a treatment plan it will help. Don’t google it doesn’t help, here is the best place and speaking to a professional, they gave me a nurse as a contact. 

keep busy but don’t over do it. I only told a few close family at this stage too as it can be stressful with questions you can’t answer as you don’t know yourself so  maybe best only tell people at this stage who will support you in getting through the next week or so while you have your tests and wait for your appt with consultant.

The pain your experiencing may be made worse with stress due to the situation I found i focused in on every little ache and pain but things subsided. 

You will get lots of support here and hopefully you won’t have to wait too much longer. Treat yourself and try to do things that you enjoy, it can be easy to sit and think but it’s not good for you and won’t made you feel better right now.  Good to talk … there is always someone here who has been through something similar.

Catz.x

Hi Charian

Like others have said you are at the worst stage. 
I found it really hard I was in constant flight or fight mode unable to do either. 
I couldn’t read or concentrate on anything.
Slowly I just found that to think of things to do, little things that were easy and passed the time. 
Listen to your favourite music watch a favourite film or a walk. 
Once your team decides on the treatment that you need the then flight mode changes to fight and it is easier to focus on that 

Keep chatting here if it helps 

Thanks for all your own personal experiences, it’s reassuring to know what I am experiencing is “normal” in the circumstances. I will try to take on board what everyone has said so far. It is good to know there is someone to speak to who knows what I’m feeling /going through and would offer their opinion no matter how silly I thought the question was,  as you guys have all been where I am at the moment. I will try to focus on one day at a time and look forward to chatting to you in the future as I know more about  what I am dealing with.

Thanks 

Ian 

Hi Charian!

Welcome to the site! Come on and rant all you want. It's great to get things off your chest here and there is always someone who can help and can relate to what you have been through. I have had a few `rants` on here already and it has helped a lot!  Take Care

Vicky x

Hi Catz!

You're so right there!  My husband is about to go through his 2nd treatment for bowel cancer within a year. He got the operation to remove his tumour at the beginning of this year (January) and they told him they got it all but at his follow up appointment in May this year they did blood tests and it showed that it came back more or less in the same place so looks like a couple of the `little buggers` got missed or managed to slip through as they say can happen. Where it is though they can't operate again so chemotherapy it is. He will be goin on to Oxipalatin (think thats the spelling) and Capecitabine. But its the time its taking to start it and we're sort of in `limbo` just now waiting and if its spreading further while we are.  He needs to speak to a urologist too because he has some scarring on his kidneys which they think was caused by the operation. We haven't told a lot of people either just immediate family. I'm actually scared about stepping outside the front door just now incase we bump into a neighbour and ask how he is. I'm not as bad now though as I was a few weeks ago that at least we know they are going to treat it again. His surgeon who did the operation said that the cancer he has now is `slow growing` so I take a wee bit of comfort in that hopefully its not aggressive. I come on here when I get the `jitters` and someone will say something that just calms me right down. Take Care

Vicky x

Yes DON'T Google!  I made a BIG mistake doing that and I just about made myself ill. 

Hi Charian

That’s so true. I didn’t join this group until after my surgery. I should have joined before really as I felt like my head would explode with anxiety and I was so stressed and touchy. My poor family. 
I used mindfulness type apps to give me some head space. 
You’re now in the system for treatment so that’s a real positive. 
I ignored mine for years. 
Pass the time gently and keep posting when you need to hear from others that have been through the same. 

I hear what you are saying Artsie ! This is me NOW! though I know its not `all about me` its my poor hubby that is going through it! We are one another's `rock` though and he tells me that as long as I'm by his side he'll take what it needs to be thrown at this and we want them to throw what they've got at this. I'm not as bad as I was a few weeks ago but still that bit `jittery` and its good I can come on here and `vent` if I need to. Yes the `anxiety` itself is unbearable as you said you feel your head is going to explode. It's just waiting now to find out what happens next so we're kind of `in limbo` just now. We see the oncologist again in two weeks time I think to give our decision on what treatment route we want to go down combined chemo or tablet only. The better option though he said would be the combined- obviously bigger benefits but maybe worse side effects but in the end hopefully the benefits will outweigh the side effects. We definitely want to do the combined if viable anything that is going to benefit hubby is find by us.