38 year old husband with stage 4 - mets in liver and lungs. Heartbroken.

Former Member over 3 years ago

16 replies
111 subscribers
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Hi everyone, I'm not sure what I'm after really other than some support and a bit of a rant I guess. My beloved 38 year old husband was diagnosed with stage 4, mets in liver and numerous small ones in lungs, a few weeks ago. Incurable, he's started chemo to try and buy time. Who knows how long he has. We have a baby, a 3 year old and a nearly 5 year old and I just cannot see how on earth people cope with this kind of situation. I am beyond heartbroken and am trying to focus on the present and the fact that he's here now and is okay, and hopefully will be for a little while, but I cannot stop thinking about how the future has just been taken away from us and how my kids are going to have to watch their amazing dad (he literally could not be a better dad, he is perfection) die. We've hung out with other families over the past few days and I just cannot bear it - seeing other people living charmed lives (although obviously I would not wish this on anyone) and other kids with their dads, knowing the horror which awaits us. It feels as though we will never be happy again. Does anyone who is / has been in a similar situation have any advice, please? Thank you so much.

court over 3 years ago in reply to Former Member

If you click on the persons user name and then the plus sign you should be able to send a friends request. Once they accept you should be good to go .

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

Former Member over 3 years ago

You’re bound to be sad and afraid right now. I went through a similar experience when I lost my lovely husband 10 years ago to lung cancer. Take things a day at a time. You haven’t lost your future. It’s just going to have a different shape from what you expected. You’re probably all being brave for each other, but it’s important to have somewhere to really offload your fears and worries, whether it be family, friends, your MacMillan nurse or even just here. Be kind to yourself. You’re going through an awful time, but you’re not on your own.

Former Member over 3 years ago in reply to Former Member

Thank you so much. I'm so sorry you lost your husband and really hope you're doing well now x

Former Member over 3 years ago in reply to Hayleyc89

Oh Hayley, my husband was crying about exactly that the other night - missing the kids' weddings etc. It's horrific. I'm sorry. I'm so glad you are all supporting each other. Sending so much love xxx

Former Member over 3 years ago in reply to Former Member

Just want you to know that although you can’t see how right now, there is a path through the grief. Take every bit of support that’s offered to you and hold this in your heart for later “ Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. “ I can now look back with such love and gratitude that he was in my life. My life is very different from what I anticipated, but it is still a happy and fulfilling life. I still have my days when I just give in and have a wallow, but most of the time I am happy and my life has brought other gifts - great friends, good family and 4 amazing grandchildren!

Hayleyc89 over 3 years ago in reply to Former Member

Sending love to you also. ️ xxx