Husband bowel cancer spread - no options left - only months

Oh  jjlondon I can only imagine the terrible grief you are already experiencing and how you must feel utterly helpless and  blindsided by this news.  I wish there was something that could be done to just take this awful news away and rewind the clock that this disease had never struck your family. I think once the shock wears off a little you will want to make the absolute most of the time you have for you all, and create some sort of memory for your daughter going forward - I am no expert in this but sure there are folk that are.  But for now you need support to go on and to be able to express yourself too.  Tbh I dont know that it gets any better but the rawness of your news may wear off a little, and I think we never get over losing someone, we just learn to live without them being physically present. I really really hope you have friends and family around you all, and that too you will get support form the doctors and on here and McMillan.  So sorry I am of no help but to say thinking of you all so much, sending love and just take a day at a time but if that too hard, an hour at a time.  You will find the strength to get through this together.  xxx

Hi LizzieJo thank you so much for your message. Knowing that I’m not alone in these feelings is such a comfort. Your message of support has lifted me. You have been a massive help. So much love to you and thank you!!! 

So sorry to hear this. Can I ask what his diagnosis was at the start? Has he had surgery, chemo etc? 

Hi MJ84,

stage 4 bowel cancer which they thought when performing surgery was contained only to the bowel. However at surgery it was evident that it had spread to his peritoneum. He has had Capox and Folfurin (not sure of spelling). The cancer has now spread from the peritoneum to his small and large intestines, his stomach and they think maybe the kidneys. We had been waiting for two years for Basingstoke to decide whether they were going to operate (Hipec) but was told it was not the right time as the chemo was working and now we are told they cannot operate as the cancer has spread. What’s so hard is that when we went to imperial college for a second opinion and they would have done the operation had we contact them prior to January. When we spoke to Basingstoke they confirmed that they were never really going to do the operation and I feel robbed. I feel like I should have pushed harder for the second opinion earlier but now nothing can be done and you can’t help but think about what could have been. 

I have no words. Such a hard time for you and your family. Your poor husband. I feel for you and the kids. I had my tumour removed in January and was quite close to my peritoneum.I  have 2 young kids. So much goes through your head. I’ve been told that surgery has removed my cancer. Currently getting capox as a precaution. Had 2 cycles so far but 3rd has been delayed for a couple of weeks due to me getting covid. 

is there anyway you can get a second opinion at this stage? 

Hi 

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/supporting-someone-with-incurable-cancer-forum

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. Words seem insufficient at times like these .

I have also linked in a forum where others are going through the same situation if you wish to connect with them . You are welcome to use both forums of it helps .

We are here for you and please feel free to Pm if you need to chat at any time .

Take care ,

Court 

Hi jj, I wish I had words to comfort you, can you seek another opinion from the Christie’s? I know it may not be local to you but I know from my own research they specialise in hipec cytro therapy (currently trying to get my partner accepted for it but it’s not as easy as it sounds is it!) It’s not easy to hear and I’ve been told it a million times before don’t give up hope, even when it feels like there isn’t a great deal of it, our specialist nurse told us that. As for him being ill can a district nurse not help? Or a Mac millan nurse? Sending you love and positive thoughts xx