Scared and uncertain

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Hi to all,

So just over a week ago I had the first part of my treatment for bowel cancer with liver metastasis. I have had an extended right hemi-colectomy and all was a success said the surgeon. Next part is chemo in about 6 weeks following a CT scan and further on from then a liver resection.
What I am grappling with is being able to stay positive and have trust in what the MDT want to do. I should, as they said they are going for a ‘curative’ intent. Something others don’t get told, so why don’t I feel more positive? I should feel positive that some parts are already gone and it’s one step closer to get rid of the little intruder, but I can’t help but feel scared and worried and my mind wonders to all the what ifs!
What if they are wrong? What if ……. It’s getting me down and I have cried lots.
sorry for the long post, just looking for some support and some hope.
Lou

Kareno62 over 3 years ago

Hi Lf77 and congratulations on getting rid of the tumour. You are very early into the recovery stage from the op and you will find that your emotions are all over the shop - relief that the tumours been removed, anxiety about the next stage, fatigue from the op etc. I too was told that they were treating me with a ‘view to cure’ and my doctor commented that it was a good sign. Please try and put your trust in the knowledge and experience of your team - this is what they see and deal with every day and they wouldn’t say it was curable if they didn’t think so.

The ‘what ifs’ is normal and will unfortunately continue to lurk around but each clear scan will push the thoughts further and further into the back of your mind. Have you thought about giving the nurses on here a ring for a chat? They’re available 7 days a week from 8-8 on 0808 808 00 00

Take caee

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

court over 3 years ago

I think that’s a big undertaking . From what I have witnessed here the body sometimes heals quicker than the mind . It takes time to regain confidence in your body . Macmillan has teamed up with Bupa to offer six free counselling sessions and a lot of people have found it helpful to take time to centre themselves again .

The helpline number will give you the required information .

Just as a point of encouragement , they are not inclined to commit themselves to liver surgery unless they think it’s a very real possibility. Trust me we have been on the other side of those discussions and there is no sugar coating . In fact I think they would hold back from committing to that unless they felt it was aligning up as far is humanly possible to tell . My mum also felt it was easier to recover from liver surgery than getting the bowel up and going again so there is that too!

You are doing great so far . Each step reducing the tumour burden and evicting the squatters!

Take care ,

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000