Oncologist complaint.

Hi Catdad

Sorry to hear that . It can be a balancing act geographically as well so I think our helpline staff might be best placed to guide you on 0808 808 0000.

I would find the disinterested aspect very hard . My mum’s first oncologist was blunt and took time to adjust to his approach/personality and I was aghast to begin with . But we never thought him anything but capable clinically and trusted that aspect . You need that aspect to form A therapeutic relationship . Oncology is a specialty that does require a supportive approach. My mum’s last oncologist was a mix of clinical competence and compassion to the point I would have found it hard not to follow her guidance as the trust had been established . It makes the world of difference.

If its a big department with more than one oncologist you could transfer within the team . We saw more of the junior drs and nurses after the first few meetings so there’s that to factor in too .

Some people change hospital all together but the nurses on the helpline will be more informed about how to go about it .

It is not as you imagine before using the service is it ?

Sometimes it depends how often you have to see them or what stage the cancer is at also ! My mum was stage 4 so it was going to be important to gain the trust .

Take care ,

court 

I mentioned his demeanour, casually, to my radiotherapy guys this morning. The response was a knowing nod. Apparently his lack of bedside manner has been mentioned before, but I was reassured he is very good. Luckily, everyone else I deal with couldn't be more helpful.

I'm just pleased it's not just myself who felt this way, as I was worried I was being over sensitive.

I don’t think your over sensitive at all . My whole family are in health care and we were taken aback with the approach but decided like yourself that if he was skilled with the cells then it was more of a priority and the other staff members brought the compassion . When he left we actually felt sad as we had adjusted . My mum still hopes he is working towards a big breakthrough in bowel cancer as he went to work for a pharmaceutical company . 

Hope your treatment is going ok !

Court 

Hi CatdadI could say the same about my Consultant Oncologist, in fact, I do and to his face. He's a colleague and I've worked with him for over 25 years. Brilliant at his job and that is what counts.

Where in the country are you being treated?

T_21 . You are brave ! You just made me laugh out loud !

Court 

Hi, I'm being treated in Nottingham and I have to admit, that apart from this little glitch, the level of care has been outstanding. I have a little over 2 weeks of radiotherapy treatments left and I'm going to miss my daily chats with the wonderful team there. 

RT for rectal cancer has come on greatly over the last few years, many of the agonising skin side effects can be much reduced using VMAT techniques. I would assume Nottingham are using VMAT.

I only had to see my Oncologist colleague as a patient for my chemo as everything else is handled by the colorectal surgery team at another Trust in my city.

Oh very interesting. We were lucky our oncologist at least is very compassionate.  However we have dealt with two surgeons whose bedside manner was clinical efficiency as if dealing with a block of wood.  Actually both were esteemed and the complicated surgeries went perfectly.  So it was ok that they were not warm human beings and afterwards we were more happy with the expertise than needing compassion.  Sometimes the smartest and highest skilled technically are not the best socially.  However for oncology it seems different because this is the person prescribing a cocktail of chemicals, and you need to feel comfortable asking your questions and describing your symptoms and getting and receiving information- because that exchange of information may mean the chemical combination has to change.  So the key question is at least that happening?  I do feel for all the health professionals dealing with cancer - it must be devastating to feel your patients’ pain and I can see why some probably get compassion fatigue as a self-preservation reaction.  One time our oncologist was very down and later the nurse told us all his patients were getting bad news except us.  I hope you are able to find someone who is more compassionate.

It’s not an easy speciality in medicine Juppy .

I think you are totally correct if the person involved in your care is for a more long term relationship it becomes more pressing .

Actually the Junior Doctor was the one who she developed a great rapport with and ended up giving most of her feedback . So that resolved some aspects . Ten years later just before she was discharged he was carrying in her massive records ( it was about three inches thick ) and noticed he was part of her care . He asked if we remembered him . Which I found really funny . To us he will always be remembered and a very important part of her care . Sometimes they don’t realise we are hanging on their every word , their facial expressions and body language . We were scanning the lot . Maybe due to her being a stage 4 patient . I even learnt to read the computer behind them as they talked to my mum .( naughty I know ) .

Hope your husband is doing ok.

Court 

Ha yes exactly- we are “hanging on their every word, facial expression, and body language…” that’s exactly it!  You’re right if you can make that connection with one person on your care team that can be enough.  Funny the one surgeon who is most rigid and clinical actually gives my husband the most confidence because my husband feels he won’t say something positive just to make him feel good.  But you’re right, after appointments we scrutinise and re-play every word to decide what is the latest prognosis. Sometimes we put our medical professionals under an enormous amount of pressure- imagine for every single person they deal with every day it is literally a life-and-death situation.