Positive Outcomes

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I haven't posted for a while as I have been feeling very positive as hubby on 2nd cycle of chemo and although it has been challenging at times he is doing well but I feel myself worrying about his prognosis a little and having yet another wobble getting my head round it all..as far as hubby is concerned it's all out and he is cancer free (which is true) and chemo is mop up and that's how he is approaching it all which is amazing..but I worry about the 7 out of 20 nodes affected plus the 2 tumour deposits in the fat plus he is EMVI and PNI positive..the tumour was moderately differentiated which is good but anybody out there who had all these risk factors but has never experience a reccurance as I am getting myself in a bit of a state dwelling on it..not helped when I offloaded to a friend whose only comment was that she didn't realise how bad Tony's cancer was..it was an unthinking comment not meant to be harsh I am sure but it was hard to hear...our colorectal nurse has been amazing and said these are extra pathology nuggets which help to determine treatment more than anything and the oncogist himself won't be drawn on their exact significance which then worries me as I think they are not telling me the full extent of how bad it is..there is no spread anywhere else at the moment which is brilliant but I'm so worried..

Kareno62 over 3 years ago

Hi ellen93. It’s so hard to stay positive all the time isn’t it but even if you could find someone with the exact combination that your hubby has, there are too many other variables for it to be of any reassurance to you. I remember when I was diagnosed I actively sought posts about people who were the same staging as me - I was happy when they were still cancer free but then deflated by the ones that had had a reoccurrence.
At the end of the day we are all individuals and under a variety of treatment plans which have been tailored to our particular needs. It’s impossible not to worry but perhaps you could take steps to put it into context? Worrying will not change the future and will prevent you enjoining the present. There are 2 scenarios - your husband remains cancer free but then you regret all the time you spent worrying. Hubby has a reoccurrence and you regret all the time spent worrying when you could have been getting on with your lives - either way you regret the time spent worrying. Your husband will also be regularly monitored over the next few years and anything suspicious will be picked up quickly and investigated/treated.

I really hope this doesn’t sound harsh but it’s what I had to tell myself in the early days and things do become less worrying after each clear scan. Please don’t forget that the nurses on here are available for you to chat too as well? They’re available 7 days a week from 8-8 on 0808 808 00 00

Take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm