Thoughts

I expect that the minutest of cells, that are invisible to the naked eye, or scan devices can lay dormant, then travel through the blood stream to grow elsewhere.

This is why any person who has endured a cancer, is continually monitored by bloods/ ct scans for the following five years.

Best

Marianne 26

A scary thought because this could be me also. I think we all potentially have this looming. As I sit here scared also at the prospect, I had to remind myself of how I came to terms with this three years ago after my all clear.

This was the little story I told myself...

There are plenty of people out there that don't worry about being hit by a bus.
But those people will be killed by a bus before I die as a result of the potential of my cancer returning.
There are even people out there not worrying about cancer, that will die of cancer before me.

So I used to say to myself, I am not - I refuse - to worry about dying of cancer.

It used to remind myself of this and the fact that our chances are 50/50.

At those odds, it's not even worth trying to second guess fate.

Every day is a bonus. Let's not insult fate by forgetting that.

This mindset helps me at least.

I;d be annoyed if a bus killed me and I had spent the past three years worrying about my cancer returning 

Hi HazG,

It would likely be due to cancer cells being in the body that were too small to be seen in scans. These cells can "wake up" at a future point and grow to a point where they can be seen on scans. That's why doctors use the term No Evidence of Disease (NED) rather than the term cured until someone has been clear for 5 years. 

It's great youve been clear for 2 years as it means your odds of being 'cured' are greater. Most recurrence happen within the first couple of years. Even if something did pop up now your doctors would pick it up early through surveillance scans and it should be therefore very treatable. 

Hi HazG

Bit of a late reply from me as it’s been a busy few days at home.  I did read your post at the time and wanted to respond, 

I am so sorry to hear about your friends husband and it does statistically drop in terms of recurrence around that stage so very unfortunate indeed . There are so many variables in terms of cell types too and staging you really have to view yourself as a stat of one . 

I do feel for people working their way through this stage as most seem to have to do at some point if this reflects reality . I often wonder how we would have processed that at a different staging . I can see the turmoil people go through until their confidence in their health returns after a few good scans and they seem to get onto more solid ground , normality returns and life squeezes it’s way back in but I see it on the boards . 
I think a lot of the process affects people’s mental health as much as their physical health and more could be done in that regard . 

I often wonder if the concerns of recurrence takes a slightly different shape in different stages too . The spread being there from diagnosis was a bit different . We became experts at living from scan to scan , the ability to compartmentalise was new to me but even me with a more anxious disposition got on board . A young girl Here taught us to give anxiety permission to rise at a certain point in time . So initially two weeks before a scan you could feel the tension rising . Then a few scans later it was two days , then further down the road it was the night before . Only when she stopped scanning did I realise it was still having an effect on even me as a carer . Interestingly enough my mum viewed them as something that kept her safe , a lifeline so there is that aspect to consider.

Big ramble but I think people get concerned about raising this subject when there is a lot to learn from each other on how they coped with it . That young girl , I think she was only 19 ( different primary ) taught me how to cope ! 
Glad you spoke about it here and I think patients further along in the process have a lot of knowledge to share as that young girl did to me as a carer . 
Take care ,

Court