Tone deaf people

Hi.some people seem incapable of dealing with these situations.I had one "friend" who on being told of my situation re cancer ,e mailed me and said"sorry I cant support you as my empathy pot is empty" then continued by telling me all about her friends who had had cancer.I hadnt even told her how bad mine was just mentioned the bare bones of it so how she could compare my situation heaven only knows.

Luckily all other friends were more helpful.

Hopefully you will have others with more appropriate responses too.

All the best

Kath

Ps.glad Ive got that off my chest as it did hurt at the time and I think Ive been bottling it up.thank you for allowing me to get it out.

Sorry you had to endure that . It takes you aback what comes out of some people’s mouths . I shut down talking to be people about my mum for a bit . Whilst most were great the odd ill thought out comment had the potential to unsettle you and I protected myself till I felt better placed to handle it . Plus it gave me more insight into their thoughts ! Yikes ! 

Katz51 that is shocking ! That was one email that would have been better left unsent ! Not even sure that was worthy of a reply .

Take care ,

Court 

Thank you court.at the time I tried to think the best of her but from someone I had thought of as a friend it really did hurt.this thread has helped me to get it out.New year,new me.Im not going to dwell on it anymore.

Kath

Jinglekitties

I’ve had a  similar experience. You can put it down to complete ignorance or they’re so self centred they can’t see what’s in front of them. 
Ive found my true friends whilst going through this I’ll never forget their support and kindness.

Just concentrate on you and your husband. You’re the important ones. Good luck with the treatment 

Thank you everyone for your supportive responses and good wishes. I'm horrified to learn of your experience Kath, as that must have felt like a profound betrayal-- and it was. So I'm glad my post helped a little to drain those locked-away emotions.

Kath

Your post made was so shocking  

I don’t think that woman has an empathy pot just a huge ego. 

Thank goodness you have caring friends as you’ve been an amazing support to us. 
You take care 

Thankyou everyone for your kind words.luckily I have plenty of friends and relations who support me.

All the best to you all for 2022.we can all get through whatever is going on with our lives at the moment supported by those who actually care.

Kath

Hi . Some people just don’t think !!  We have so many plans and dreams for our retirement and then the big C comes crashing in !!  Hopefully you both get over the hurdle presented and get back on track.  How should you respond. I’d call them out on their comment.  ….. ‘ well my retirement isn’t exactly going to plan ‘  or ‘ we’ll how do you think I’m enjoying it ?’ 

Katz51. Your friends comment was unforgivable and totally inappropriate. How self centred !! thank goodness you have a good support system.  

you do find out who your friends are with serious health diagnoses.  Xx 

It got even worse when she said"shame you wont ever be able to go swimmimg again"when she knew I enjoy swimming.

Why not??? Stoma bags are waterproof!!!!

I didnt bother answering that one

Kath

What The ……….  Charming !