Feeling really despondent today, thought things were getting back on an even keel with my brother after several bumps in the road with infection, bowel obstruction and various other little hiccups. He has gone for his chemo today only to discover that his flaming portacath has migrated and is no longer in the blood vessel. He couldn’t have his chemo, spent the whole day trying to get it sorted but it needs to be removed. Couldn’t do it today while he was at the hospital, he has to have it done tomorrow under local anaesthesia. He has also had to travel 6 miles to another site to get a bloody covid test, I think this is ridiculous and to say I’m not happy is an understatement. What a carry on when people aren’t well. The radiologist who inserted the portacath says he has not seen this complication in the hundreds he has inserted. My god is there anything else that will go wrong? I’m so upset about it all and he is so fed up with yet another problem. I am afraid I wasn’t the nicest to the oncology nurse on the phone today but I was not getting any answers to my perfectly reasonable questions. I think I’m going to talk to him about having his treatment elsewhere, where there is medical cover. The oncology unit he is at now is a nurse led service, which I have no issues with but last week when he presented for his treatment with symptoms of an ear infection, there was no one there to examine him, he had to try and get an elusive appointment with a gp to diagnose this. Today it has taken hours to get answers while the nurses e mail people and wait for replies. I feel very guilty saying this as they are very pushed and trying their best but my main concern is getting the right treatment for him. Sorry for the rant and thanks for listening you amazing bunch.
Hi ,
Can totally understand why you are finding it frustrating . Given he is a stage 4 patient and going to be involved with the hospital for the long haul I can see the merits in having Drs available to resolve the issues quicker and lessen the delays . Given it’s not post operative chemotherapy he wants to get this going smoothly !
I don’t think that’s criticism of a nurse lead service at all it just requires more access to intervention quickly .
Take care ,
Court
Helpline Number 0808 808 0000
Hello Lozberry,
I’m so sorry you and your brother are having such a rough time, you must be so frustrated and feel it’s one step forward and 2 back, it must seem like your hitting your head against a brick wall.
I know your fighting on his behalf and it must be very exhausting. I can’t really help but sending you a big hug and hope tomorrow is a better day.
Take Care
Net77x
An update after yesterday’s events.
He has had the migrated port removed this morning just under local anaesthesia so he was in and out very quickly. We now need to wait to see what the oncology consultant wants to do while he waits for a new one to be inserted. He is okay, I am feeling increasingly irritated and upset by it all. I’m no good to him if I start to lose it so I am speaking to my GP about starting some antidepressants. I have resisted this for a while but my sleep pattern is so disturbed now that I’m finding it very hard to function. I need to be able to help myself before I can be of help to anyone else. I have also accessed some counselling support through work, so I hope that helps get me back in control and able to see my way through this.
Good on you . I went to my Gp around the same point in time as I recognised I was not functioning well enough . I got beta blockers to slow things down a bit and it gave me the handle I needed . It got me onto firmer ground .
Hope you get the support you need . You matter too !
Court
Helpline Number 0808 808 0000
Thanks Court,
I really was so close to losing it completely yesterday, I scared myself haha. Goodness knows what the poor oncology nurse thought of me on the phone, I wasn’t being very nice. Most unlike me and a very real sign that I need help. I do think that things may have been different for me if the pandemic hadn’t already sucked every ounce of resilience out of me. It is what it is and there is help out there for me. Im taking all the help I can get.
Totally understandable that you must be completely burnt out . You were working tirelessly in difficult situations . It’s kicking in for staff now .
You can always explain to the nurse what you are going through too . They might find that useful as well .
I think you know yourself when you have reached saturation level and you are only human . Maybe it’s time to take a bit of self care too as you don’t want to compromise your own health .
Take care ,
Court
Helpline Number 0808 808 0000
Whatever cancer throws your way, we’re right there with you.
We’re here to provide physical, financial and emotional support.
© Macmillan Cancer Support 2025 © Macmillan Cancer Support, registered charity in England and Wales (261017), Scotland (SC039907) and the Isle of Man (604). Also operating in Northern Ireland. A company limited by guarantee, registered in England and Wales company number 2400969. Isle of Man company number 4694F. Registered office: 3rd Floor, Bronze Building, The Forge, 105 Sumner Street, London, SE1 9HZ. VAT no: 668265007