Having a bad day can’t sleep.

Hi 

Morning , and we are listening . If you were nearer I would have the kettle on and listen in person and this does feel very limited when you have written from the heart .

It is so very difficult not to be able to take away his current situation and I do think you have to keep in mind some of the medical aspects like the liver enzymes impacting his cognitive functions are now part of the process and possibly under his normal circumstances he may not feel he has let you down at all but had in fact done so very well despite such difficulties. 
To have been able to run a Marathon when he was so unwell shows the depth of character he has and it seems to me even at this point he is still being so entirely selfless and more worried about the impact on others around him .

My son showed me a clip from tic tok  ( I think it’s on you tube) from Andrew Garfield on loosing his mum and grief . He described it as she had a song to sing that went unfinished. He will keep singing her song . It really is most beautiful and straight from his heart . 
You will keep the bonds that bind you all . I can see you have these attributes within you and I think you will make that happen ,

I think fear of death is only reasonable. Has he been able to express what aspect is causing him distress the most ?  I know one of our previous CC on the forum wanted to know more about pain relief and the support structures around her . Some of that was reassuring to her . She also looked at spiritual support relevant to her . Is the hospice team involved as they have a lot of resources and experience helping families through situations that most have not encountered before . It’s frightening for families too.

I know you will surround him with your love . What more have we got really .

If you want to PM me at anytime please feel free .

Take care ,

Court 

Thank you for your message… please don’t think I’m clueless but I don’t know how to PM on this.

Yesterday was hard to deal with as our family are so close and it’s still a shock from when he was diagnosed 17 months ago now. I feel a strange sense of peace- I’ve been angry for 17 months today I haven’t as I know the diagnosis. Is that normal? 

 Macmillan have been an amazing support. 

thanks for listening x

I hope I don’t get banned for posting this! My best friend sent this to me today! X

Hi ,

I will send you a Pm and see if it comes up in your emails .

I think some people do find a peace as strange as it seems . I think it’s almost like the five stages of  grief . Anger and acceptance in equal measures . Not that I know directly . But Part of my previous job included end of life care . People did seem to move through different aspects in preparation. 
Take care ,

Court