My 88 year old mum has chosen not to gave surgery after being diagnosed with colon cancer. Anyone else on here in the same situation? Would love to talk
Oh, an incredibly difficult decision, and a choice that gets harder with age. So many things go into the decision- the extent of the required operation and her ability to tolerate it, the other treatment options, the chance of a cure, etc. What I do know is you can’t make the decision for her, which can be incredibly difficult. It’s a tough decision and no one could say what they would do until faced with the real decision. My husband shocked himself by considering forgoing any treatment - before he had cancer he couldn’t understand why anyone would refuse treatment. However after he was diagnosed he said “I absolutely understand now.” I was greatly relieved when he decided to have treatment. However having seen what he’s gone through, I know he couldn’t have stood it if he hadn’t absolutely made the choice to do it himself.
Will she be getting chemo or other treatment, or has she chosen to forgo all treatment? There are lots of ways you can support her in what’s ahead. Check out the “carers forum” too.
Hi, we are in the same boat with my 92 year old mother in law. First stage bowel cancer in the ascending colon. Was advised to have the operation as she is very fit for her age with no underlying medical problems. Her operation was due today but was cancelled last week until we had a face to face with the anesthetist. We actually thought this was an assessment but turned out to be a 'talk' on the worst case scenario of having the operation. Now my MIL is very distressed as she has to make a choice. She has been told that she will have approximately 3 years if no operation undertaken. We just wondered if anyone on this forum has had the operation at a similar age and if it was detrimental to their quality of life. We know nobody can make her mind up for her but it is a terrible decision to have to make. We are so grateful for the Macmillan support we are receiving and indeed all the staff we have met at the hospital have been very compassionate and understanding.
Oh yikes having to sign the operation forms at any age is scary- my husband’s said he had a 5% chance of death during the operation, so that can be quite distressing. It seems stage 1 is a much simpler operation, but all can be awful to consider. My husband in his 60s and very healthy was able to have keyhole surgery and no stoma, and found recovery very easy. However, you’ll want to ask the surgeon the probability of keyhole surgery versus regular (which is a much longer recovery) and also the chance of having a temporary or permanent stoma, which is much harder recovery and living standard than none. Also, you’ll want to ask about quality of life without surgery- when will pain start and how severe will it be? My husband was stage 4 when diagnosed and was in quite severe pain. Will there be other interventions like chemotherapy? For my husband chemotherapy was a lot worse than the surgery. When will the cancer itself start interfering with her quality of life? I hope that at least helps with the questions.
Thank you Juppy, As the cancer has been found so early, she has been offered keyhole surgery without the need for a stoma and no chemotherapy. The cancer is at the moment fully isolated within the area of bowel. The only thing we have to worry about, once over the operation, is her quality of life thereafter. At the moment she is self caring, does her own food and housework, lives by herself and so apart from getting tired in the afternoon, she is a very healthy 92 year old, she obviously wants to stay this way but whatever she chooses there will be some level of deterioration to her living capabilities. The point you make 'when will the cancer itself start interfering with her quality of life' is a very good question and I will certainly ask someone in the know this. I have arranged a meet for both MIL and myself next week with the wonderful Macmillan nurses, who I hope will be able to shed some light on this.
