35 and Been diagnosed with colon cancer

Hi  and a warm welcome to the board from me and no you’re not cracking up! I think people sometimes underestimate the emotional side of cancer and you may be suffering from some sort of ptsd? You’ve been diagnosed and operated on in a very short period of time and it’s probably only now that you’ve had time to really think about what’s happened.

There is no right or wrong way of feeling or dealing with it. I was pretty much in denial after I was diagnosed and just carried on working and meeting friends for coffee and basically pretending it wasn’t really happening. Some people find it life changing and make huge changes  and others just carry on as they were before. Yes there will always be people in life who are worse off than you but that doesn’t lessen what you’ve been through. Give it time to get your head around - it’s still early days after your surgery - then see how you feel once you start to get out and about again. It may be that you feel that counselling would help so you could contact the colorectal nurse at your hospital or your doctor? There are also nurses on here available to talk to who can help. They are here 7 days a week from 8am-8pm on 0808 808 00 00.

Lastly here’s a link to a paper that people have found helpful - have a read and if you think it’s too soon then put it under your hat for another day

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Youre totally not alone in feeling like this but it’s often hard for people to understand when they’ve not been in the same boat.

Take care

Karen x

Hi Karen 

Thank you for replying I have just continued my life as needed as well sorting the kids out and trying to get on with normal life to not think about what is happening but I’m scared that I no it will hit me and it will become real. I just can’t handle everyone telling me that I’m lucky and I should be acting like this when no one in my family have actually ever gone through this so have no idea. I have days where I’ve been crying a few times and want to be with my kids constantly so I think I’m driving the kids mad as well. I just never thought this would happen to me and if it did I’d no how to deal with it or deal with it better. 

Hi 

Easy for others to say and to be honest a cancer diagnosis at any stage is life altering. People come through it for sure but they need space and understanding to work through the impact it is having on their life . Some people have a reduced emotional response to a stage 4 diagnosis than others with a lesser staging ! Some people sail through treatment with focus and determination and struggle when it all stops ! Others gain strength as they go !

You can’t impose on yourself where other people think you should be . It’s great it was caught early for sure and I understand that but it’s still a lot to process and I think you are very wise taking time to talk about that aspect ! I have seen many people say the same on the forum so it is a very normal reaction!

Some people find counselling helpful and if that’s something you want to explore the Macmillan helpline can give you some information. 0808 808 0000. If you just want to hang around your kids that’s great too ! 

If it’s any consolation my mum was a stage 4 patient , best foot forward was her approach. Ups and downs but it never really caught up with her ! So it really might not ! Especially as a mum , kids have a habit of dragging you forward even when you want to stop for a bit !

Anyway we are here to listen as required so anytime you need us to off load just pop on.

Take care ,

Court

Hi Flossy....

No, you are nor 'cracking up.' I can totally relate where you are coming from. Regardless of age, the initial diagnosis is like a bolt from the blue - & then, everything happens so fast....that we often don't have that time for our mind to come to terms with the situation...hence the emotional turmoil.

My diagnosis was in May '19....& within the month, I'd had my resection, was in hospital 4 days....then home....to carry on with my life. Physically, I felt well after two weeks, but emotionally, I felt very strange. I can only describe it as if I'd been on a roller coaster....& was shot off somewhere into the unknown....& had no idea where I'd landed. I was expected to resume life as normal...but that 'normality' had departed me at that time.

Family & friends around me, were only concerned about my physical welfare. Obviously, they couldn't be expected to understand the emotional weirdness I felt at that time....& I understand that now - & I think that you will also - in time.

I decided to get help - & asked for counselling, through my colorectal team at my hospital. However, the wait was six weeks. I went along for the first hours' session, & I could have gone regularly, if I chose. However, by that time,,,,,I just needed that one session to talk things through, & declined further help, as I felt more normal emotionally by then.

Within time, this strange headspace you are in will ease.....Wishing you all the best

Marianne x

Thank you marianne 

how you’ve described how you feel is exactly how I think I feel but it’s hard for people to understand that that haven’t been through it isn’t it I was discharged from hospital after a day of having my colon removed and apart from the pain I just felt numb and am I ever going to be me again how long does it take to be me again these thoughts all going through my head so thank you for replying and giving me some courage that I will hopefully feel normal again soon 

Believe me, you will become 'that me again,' within time.....Just allow the tears to come when you feel the need to. Others won't understand where your head is at....They will only look at your physical well being. In the end, they can't be expected to. Only those that have gone through this trauma personally, will understand that strange alien feeling you are currently going through.

I also think, not only will you become 'that normal' again, you will also become a far stronger 'normal' in time.

Marianne x