bowel cancer

FormerMember over 4 years ago

3 replies
119 subscribers
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I was diagnosed with colon cancer in July 20, after having a colonoscopy previously in January 20 and at that time was told it was not cancer but would need the polyps removed as they were big. Fast forward to July having the colonoscopy then told by the consultant who was carrying out the procedure he could not remove the polyps as they were too deep and probably cancerous. It was then advised I would need a right hemi-colectomy which I had 11th August, in hospital for 3 days and then home. I feel the surgery went well and the consultant the next day said I looked amazing!! not that I felt it.. Its now November I have not as yet returned to my job, I work at a radiotherapy department for cancer services, I feel guilty not going back to work yet, however I do not feel mentally ready does this sound normal? I feel tired quite a bit of the time, very low mood nothing seems to make me happy. I feel that once I left hospital had the surgery then that is it you are on your own, I had the 1 telephone call saying the cancer had not spread so surgery was the only thing I needed. Am I normal feeling like this? does anyone else feel the same. I feel because I had only surgery then people think thats it you should be back to normal but I certainly don't feel normal, and I feel in denial of the cancer, does this make sense, would love some advice..Thankyou Tricia.

court over 4 years ago

I just want to welcome you to the forum . I am not a patient but have been navigating oncology for over 11 years with my mum and been here for a decade .This comes up a lot after treatment . The expectation to return to normal but feeling displaced on so many levels and trying to work through the sea of emotions that surface . Navigating this during the confines of a pandemic just amplifies everything and is very isolating. Add to that your own employment would cause you to confront all of this and I totally understand why you would want to feel in a better place prior to returning. People do overcome this stage and come back often to say hi several years further down the road .

Have you thought about asking your GP for some counselling? There may also be some online resources. I will have a look . Additionally we are here to chat . Hopefully others will pop on too and there is a search function at the top right hand of the page where you can read others input .

You might also benefit from talking to our helpline staff . 0808 808 0000. It’s totally confidential but they are used to helping people access local resources or just to chat through the adjustments required post surgery to assist you over this bump .
Glad you reached out to us and I will have a look at the information leaflets also .

Take care ,

Court

Helpline Number 0808 808 0000

Kareno62 over 4 years ago

Hi and great to hear that you’re over surgery with no spread. I remembering feeling exactly like you when I finished my chemo! I should have been relieved that it was over but instead I felt anxious and really flat. My scan was clear and now I was on my own until the next one a year later. It’s like having a comfort blanket taken away and there’s no one keeping an eye on you or anyone to just run a bit of a niggling concern past? I think I was also running on adrenaline a bit, eager to get the next stage of treatment over with and then, when it was all finished, it left a sort of gap in my life. Sounds ridiculous doesn’t it?

Like you I was in denial a bit about the cancer and just treat it as an illness that I needed treatment for. Time is a great healer. I read a book called The Cancer Survivors Companion by Lucy Atkins that I found very good. There is also an article by a guy called Peter Harvey that sums things up well so I’ve added the link below

https://www.workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Many people find it hard to understand how you feel afterwards unless they’ve been on the same journey so don’t feel pressured to feel a certain way - everyone deals with it differently and there’s no right or wrong timeframe. Be kind to yourself Tricia and take things at your own pace

Take care

Karen x

Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm

Marianne26 over 4 years ago

Hi Sirenis, I can totally relate to what you say, as I felt exactly the same as you. At that time, I was told that I did not need chemo either - & my consultant said ;Just go away & live your life.' which mentally is easier said than done! I literally felt as though I'd been on a fast & furious roller coaster...that suddenly left me on a different planet...It just felt very odd indeed & yes, I was also in denial of cancer. This all happened to me following surgery in May '19. Fast forward to now, & unfortunately, I did need chemo for several months...as 2 very small lung lesions were found on a CT Scan. However, going back to your feelings right now....I would say that it took me at least 6 mths. before I was fully able to mentally absorb what I had been through & to comfortably move forward again.(Physically, I recovered very quickly after the Op.) I think personally that the initial diagnosis/ the speed of events following, can apt to put people into some form of a mental shock, probably a bit like PTSD.

I would say that at this stage, if you do not feel mentally ready to resume jour job, it probably means that you are not ready to just yet. As Court mentioned, there are counselling services available; either through your colorectal team or I believe, Macmillan.

In the meantime, perhaps there are some hobbies/ interests you have that you could pursue? Why not set yourself some very small goals...even on a daily basis?

Wishing you many best wishes.