my dad being diagnosed with bowel cancer

Hi . I’m sorry to hear about your dad but glad that you’ve found us here on the board. Support is very important and The initial wait for test results is very stressful but things will feel slightly better once there is a treatment plan in place. 

Please do not google - stay on here and the Bowel Cancer uk Board. The information on google is misleading, out of date and downright scary in places. Bowel Cancer is very treatable. The people on both boards are all at different stages of treatment or completed treatment and are happy to share experiences. There is no such thing as a daft question and nothing is too embarrassing. Learn as much as you can and have a look through the booklets below to give you an idea of what treatment might be suggested.

Lastly make sure you look after yourself too

https://cdn.macmillan.org.uk/dfsmedia/1a6f23537f7f4519bb0cf14c45b2a629/817-source/options/download/be-there-for-someone-facing-cancer?_ga=2.165145014.824045687.1604842918-1813076735.1598601303

https://bowelcancerorguk.s3.amazonaws.com/Publications/YourPathway_BowelCancerUK.pdf

Take care

Karen x

• Hi Karen, new to this site, can you tell me where to find the bowel cancer boards, as you say googke is very scary and often outdated. 

Hi Francesst. Yes stay away from google. The Bowel Cancer uk Board is like this but probably a bit busier. Here’s a link to the board. Hope you’re ok - if you scroll to the bottom of the forum board there’s a link to the publications page where there are lots of booklets. Please try not to get too far ahead of yourself though until you’ve had all your scan results then deal with things one step at a time

https://community.bowelcanceruk.org.uk/forum/

Take care

Karen x

Hi Karen,

Thank you so much for your help!

I'll be avoiding Google from now on, I've talked through the documents with my dad and I think he feels more at ease now!

We are preparing for the worst but hoping for the best.

Many thanks 

Hi Karen, thanks for the link, the booklet is excellent and has explained a lot to us and given us hope. So pleased I joined this group, in only 3 days I've had so much support and valuable guidance

Francesst. You’re welcome - please let us know how you get on x

You’re welcome - please let us know how your dad gets on. If you click on people’s names then their profile page may show the treatment that they have been through x

Hi Masked Panda,

I'm not sure about your dads age but i am 59 and just had anterior resection 3rd Sept, due to tumour in the sigmoid colon, i have two great sons that have supported me and straight away they said, dad you must get as fit as possible for the operation.

This said we agreed to all do no beer for a year and only eat healthy food with plenty of exercise, i dropped just over 2 stone and after walking around 5 miles a day was feeling quite good and i think this was a big bonus for recovery.

Personally i did the google thing but only viewed bowel cancer uk and other proffesional medical sites, i wanted to know everything there was about the bowel and even watched a video on my surgery from the Netherlands however, this is definitely not for everyone, and i definitely had some dark moments.

Following all the investigations which are very stressful i found a very interesting talk by a professor in the USA regarding how cancer is highlighted by the PET-CT Scan but again not for everyone.

Throughout my own journey i found the waiting for results and bowel preparation to be the worst, when they have a plan regarding the operation i found all the worry and stress drain from me and accepted that this was what was going to happen, all you can do is be there for him and try to understand his position.

I wish you and your day all the very best,

TG

Hi, I am a Dad and have been through what your Dad is going through.

Print out your post and hand it to him.

I'd be so proud to know if either of my children did what you have done here.

The first two weeks being told you have cancer for your Dad will be a blur, so perhaps let that time pass. You don't need to do or say anything.

Say or do what comes naturally, and try to gauge what your Dad wants from you.

As things become clear and your Dad is having treatment, ask what they've told him, ask what the treatment is, what it's like, how he feels.

My family and friends did this and it really helped.

The worst that anyone could do is not mention it.

I wanted them to be direct and ask me outright.

It was lovely to be able to tell people.

The one thing I did right during diagnosis and treatment was to stay positive. It helped massively and it proved to be the right thing.

My memory of my diagnosis and treatment is positive. It's not a walk in the park, but it's overall ok.

If your Dad is more traditional, then you may have to play it the way he wants.

For example, I went for counselling and it changed my life. It's largely how I stayed positive. I absolutely loved going to counselling. I could tell the counsellor just how I felt and it meant I was easier to live with.

I had my moments though. Where for the first month or so I would just go off on long walks on my own.

Let your Dad do what makes him happy. That's what I learned in my counselling.

It will help your Dad so much, but perhaps you'll have a struggle on your hands to convince him to attend counselling.

Put him in touch with people his age that have been through it. If he'll chat on here?

As I said, stay positive, you'll never regret doing that.

Keep in touch x

Hi Karen, I'll do that thank you! He was an MRI scan tomorrow and his multi disciplinary team will be making decisions for his treatment on Monday, I'll keep you posted on his progress!