I dont really know what to say so i will say it all.
On boxing day 2019 i woke up with what felt like an upset stomach, when i went it was alot and was mostly blood, i went to A&E, waited 6 hours (still pooing blood in small amount at the time). After seeing someone from the surgical team i was placed on the surgery ward for 4 days. I recieved a CT scan but was discarged after the bleeding stopped and was told i would have a colonoscapy as an out patient. The CT scan showed no anomylies, i later didnt have a colonoscapy, just the endoscopy thing 9cant remeber the name) checking the left hand side of the colon. The nusrse came to see me and tell me with a smile that it was good news as they had found nothing, i was not happy and said if they havnt found the problem then souldnt they do more tests as clearly there is somethin wrong as that much blood loss dosnt just happen. She said it was up to the consultant to see if i needed any more tests and i left feeliong un helped and worried.
Skip to june 2020, the middle of lockdown.
it happened again though not as bad, waited 6 hours in A&E was examined and was told i could be kept in for observation or go home if i felt like i would be ok with that.i choose to go home as in the middle of a pandemic the last place i wanted to be was a hospital. He told me i would get a colonoscapy but the wait time was long due to lockdown.
I recieved a letter telling me i had a CT scan appointment at the begining of october. Starting september i had started to get a constant low pain in my abdomen, spoke to GP and told him if i take parecetamol it usually is ok but it is all the time, sometime a little worse,he said i was going to be checked for Coeliac disease. The day before my result i was called by my consultant to tell me the CT scan showed not only an anomaly in mt colon but also my liver. The floor fell from my feet as if it was in two places it was saft to say it was cancer, he said they needed more tests to find out for sure, so in 1 week i had a colonoscapy (finally) an MRI on my liver and a CT scan of my chest.
And now we are at the current time, im waiting for the results though i have very little hope now. I dont think i need to results of my chest scan as over the last week or 2 i have noticed i get slightly out of breath doing just about anything so i certain it is in my lungs so i now just assume its game over. I finally told my kids and parents about this after the colonoscapy as i was heavily sedated and used alot of gasened air as i was in alot of pain, and resulted in me being in a care free mood for the rest of the day so used this cheat to break the bad news to my family. Oh because of the sedation i cant acctual rember what was said about the colonoscapy other than it wasnt compleated due to narrowing in my colon, they took biopsyes and think they tattooed a part of my colon but cant remeber why they did this.
So if you read all that thank you. All this has left me angry to be honest more than anything as this cancer has gone from the doctors saying' it's fine you got nothing wrong with you' to 'you are screwed' in the space of 10 months.
Dont really know what any one can say about this, just needed to scream in to the void i guess.
