Surgery

Hello   so sorry you are feeling like this but I can totally understand how you are feeling . I had my operation in October and I was also staged as T3 . I was told by my surgeon that he was hoping to do keyhole surgery but because my tumor was large he warned that he may have to do open surgery and go In further and I might need a temporary stoma. Although everybody told me not to think of the worst options I did to prepare myself which helped immensely when I woke up with the stoma and an open surgery wound.  I was petrified of the operation I am very squeamish but for a few days before I listened to some meditations for having an op on you tube these really helped me get in another zone on the day . You will get through the operation but will need to give yourself time to heal , I am now out walking, swimming and yoga ( although only a small amount ) it doesn't feel like it at the time but slowly you will heal. If you end up with a stoma there is a great support group for this too. The nurses also won't let you leave the hospital until you can manage it and will give plenty of support . I couldn't even look at mine for 4 or 5 days but can now manage it ok. I have found this forum a great help with great support 

Wishing you good luck and hugs for the 17th

Lots of love Peacock62 xxx

Thank you so much for responding! I’ve felt a bit lost if I’m honest. So much to take in. I think once I’m through the op and I can hopefully focus on healing and getting myself back. These waiting weeks are so hard. 

Thank you also for sharing your story. So happy for you that you are slowly recovering and finding strength. I like the idea of meditation. I think this could help me get away from my own sadness.

xx

Thank you so much for responding! I’ve felt a bit lost if I’m honest. So much to take in. I think once I’m through the op and I can hopefully focus on healing and getting myself back. These waiting weeks are so hard. 

Thank you also for sharing your story. So happy for you that you are slowly recovering and finding strength. I like the idea of meditation. I think this could help me get away from my own sadness. It’s a long road I guess and you’ve got to take it a step at a time. 

xx

Hi

I hope you’re not struggling today. I’d like to offer some reassurance. A friend of a friend was 81 and diagnosed with bowel cancer last year. She was hoping for keyhole, but ended up with open surgery. Four weeks after her op she was hopping on a bus to our local RHS garden! If you feel like it do read my profile. I updated it yesterday as it was written originally last May. Have you seen the stoma nurses? Mine gave me a stick on stoma just so I could get used to the idea. The real thing looked a lot better! They shrink after a few weeks. Mine is quite small and almost dainty! Some of us have named them! Those of us who are further along with our treatment can honestly say that we’ve all had our dark days/nights. Do discuss any fears or concerns you have as this community are enormously helpful and supportive. Good luck.

Hi AmailKeira,

These past few days since your diagnosis must have been so hard, and no doubt there will have been many things running through your mind constantly. You're quite young to be going through this - I was only 46 when I was diagnosed in 2012. But it's good that your op is scheduled for a week on Monday, as you can prepare for that and then afterwards start on the road to recovery. I was stage 3, and came away with a permanent stoma. My op was in the September and by the following January was back at work. So it's not all doom and gloom. I'm sure that your family will carry you through this.

When I was first diagnosed, it was a Friday, and after many tears and a sleepless night, the next day I got up but didn't feel ill, and certainly didn't feel that I had cancer. But I was utterly convinced that my life was over, and that I wouldn't be returning to work at any point. That weekend I was in disbelief. I waited for a phone call on the Monday from the hospital, which never came, and decided that I would go back to work. And I think it was at that point that I had finally accepted things, and decided that I was going to do the best that I could to get through it all. And so, 7 and a half years later, here I am. Back to normal, well, a new normal anyway! But I'm still working, still doing all that I did before. 

You can do this, you can get through to the other side and carry on. The road to recovery will probably be a rollercoaster, but nothing you can't deal with. 

Good luck for your operation - keep us up to date with how things go. And always remember, if you want to ask anything of us, just ask - we're all here to help you.

Linda  :-) 

Thank you for your kind words. I had a much better day, and I think that was down to my wonderful husband who insisted on taking me out. What a relief some light distraction can offer. 

I had my nails done - they are usually long and manicured but I figured practically, short and well maintained would be a better choice for obvious reasons. I’m happy with the result. We went for lunch and then spent the afternoon around family watching the rugby. Lots of kids to keep my mind off things and a reason to stay strong and stop crying. It felt nice to feel normality for a while. Found myself feeling a bit down again this morning having had a broken nights sleep but I’m a day closer to my op, and I know distractions and family are a my key. 

I can’t control the science but I can work on better controlling the emotional and psychological.. 

This group has already really helped me. I’m so unbelievably grateful xx

Hi attached below is the link to the mediation I listened to before my op I played it over and over and over until I had it in my head for the big day then I tried to get myself in another zone while they took me through even told them all where I was going then the next thing I knew I was awake. I had never been in hospital before prior to this so hope this helps you too. I will use this again  when I have my ilostomy reversal . But don't beat yourself up if you can't stop thinking about it as it's natural to feel this way , I had lots of people telling me not to think of it but it's impossible. Thinking of you 

https://youtu.be/W0AkeN7J7T4

Love Peacock62 xxx 

Hi, had phone call from hospital about an hour ago, surgery is down for 26th Feb, am terrified as is APR with permanent stoma and also an IGAP flap

Has anyone had this surgery with this flap, am concerned that from behind I'll look totally weird and uneven 

.I had asked the CNS if she could show me how it would look but not heard anything back yet. I have of course googled igap flaps which only really confirmed my fear. 

Any experience of this would be helpful 

Thanks ☓