Partner has been diagnosed with rectal cancer

Hi sorry to have to welcome you to the forum, but  you will find great help and advice on here, firstly don't Google as most of the things you find are outdated or wrong,if you click on people's names you can usually find there journey so far, everybody reacts differently to the chemo/radiotherapy, I would say just eat healthy food and light exercise and see how it goes, wishing your partner good luck with the treatment, cheers John.

Hi and a warm welcome from me too. As John has said everyone reacts differently to the various stages of treatment but the radiologists will keep a close on him and check if he’s having any issues.

Its important to keep an eye on the skin around the area being zapped. If there are signs of any soreness beginning to occur then ask the radiologists for some cream (I was given a cream called cavilon to use during my treatment and also a body wash to use on the area being treated). It’s important not to use anything not recommended by the radiologists as some soothing creams contain zinc particles which shouldn’t be used during radiology. 

You may find that your hubby suffers from loose bowels during his treatment so may be given immodium/loperamide to help with this.

The other main side effect is fatigue which may build up over the weeks so tell your hubby to listen to his body and rest if needed. Having said that keeping fit and active with a nice walk in the fresh air is good for both the body and soul and you could always fit in a nice cup of coffee and piece of cake at the same time!

Bowel Cancer is very treatable nowadays and a lot of people have had a good response to chemoradio to shrink the tumour.

Please keep posting and let us know how he’s getting on. Remember you can ask about anything at all on here- there is nothing too daft or embarrassing!

Take care

Karen x

Welcome to the forum, I joined in March, my hubby with shocked rectal  cancer diagnosis following routine bowel screening. You have been given good advice already by John and Karen.

get partner to drink lots of water during treatment, eat well, rest when needed, and keep fit as best as possible, ask away all here very helpful x

Thank you all for taking the time to respond to me ... we’re both still getting used to having been told and although I know it’s him that has the cancer, it feels like it’s both of us, is that normal?  

He sent off his bowel screening kit and got word back that he’d to go for a colonoscopy and that was 11 November and they told him right away that he had rectal cancer and it just seems to have been non stop since then with appointments and information but no time to stop and get our heads around what it means. They’ve pretty much told us already that they are treating to cure but that the expectation will be almost certainly that he’ll have a permanent stoma so that was also something to get our heads around.

Hi Again, absolutely normal in my world anyway,  that it feels like both of you are in this, and you will get through this together.

as I said very similar hubby diagnosed with screening, called in to discuss colonoscopy, the consultant dong colonoscopy said at consultation after test that he knew it was cancer, he said if biopsies came back not he would insist they did it again,  it is a whirlwind, he was diagnosed 26 th March by first of May he had had ct and MRI scans, got results seen surgeon, been transferred to the Christie, met oncologist, told treatment plan, had measuring scans for radiotherapy and started chemo....five weeks from diagnosis to start of treatment, you will get through it, another piece of advice......do just one day at a time.....no more.....one day is enough, tick them off....x

Hi again . Yes it’s normal - he’s your partner, you’re a team so naturally you’re going to be by his side and feeling everything he’s feeling at the same time. I sometimes felt it was harder for my hubby as all the attention was on me while he was trying to work, run the house, visit me in hospital then look after me at home while all the time worrying about how I was feeling.

The first few weeks is a flurry of appointments, tests, scans, more tests, more appointments but once he starts radiochemo then things will settle down a bit. 

I was told I was being treated with a view to cure and I’m still clear 3 years down the line. The stoma will take a bit of time to get used to but Ian aka over on the Ileostomy, Colostomy and Stoma Support page will be on hand to help with any issues and it will be a small price to pay if it allows the surgeon to remove all the tumour successfully. 

It will be a tough year but you will get through this together I’m sure. Please make sure you look after yourself as well though - it’s easy to find everything revolving around the cancer and the patient but you will want to be strong for your partner so make sure you have time out for yourself. Something my hubby and I did was to nominate a person/persons as a point of contact for updates so if anyone in my family wanted to know how my appointment/operation/chemo had gone then they rang my mum or a mutual friend - this saved my hubby having multiple calls going over and over the same thing. Alternatively you could set up a WhatsApp group for people. I know this might sound a bit impersonal but people will understand and the same applies to visiting - hubby will have good days and not so good days but this is a time to be a little bit selfish and do what’s best for you.

Please keep posting and let us know how you’re both doing - we can send virtual hugs and cake if needed

Take care

Karen x