My full history is in my profile but suffice to say... I thought I was past my rectal cancer and now it looks like it is back.
My surgery was 14 months ago. I had a colonoscopy 6 months ago, I had a couple pre-cancerous polyps removed but I knew of nothing else to worry about. I advocated very hard and got a 6-month follow-up colonoscopy. I had that follow-up today.
Seems there was something in the rectal stump that looked like an ulcer (?) 6 months ago but is now looking like a mass. The doctor showed me pictures and it looks very big to me. He's taken multiple biopsies of what he's calling a suspicious malignant mass.
So now I wait 2 weeks to get answers. I feel like "here we go again!" I'm back to the roller-coaster emotions and trying to plan the un-planable. I have a dozen questions without answers. If the cancer is back, I know it probably means Barbie butt surgery (if I'm lucky). But does it mean more chemo? What chemo? How long? Will I have to quit my job? (It's unlikely that I will get another leave of absence.)
I wanted so much to be done with this. I guess we're never really done.
Dear Susan , this is a horrible body blow for you 
you've already shown how strong you are, how sturdy your resolve is, so you know you can cope with what might be coming up even though you'd hoped it was behind you -but it's so unfair isn't it. Massive virtual hug x
