Scared

I understand how scared you are and wish I could help. The operation will help you on your journey back to health. Your poop shouldn’t be painful, it’s going to take a while to be firm though, so don’t be embarrassed if you have the odd accident ( take some Tena pants). 
 I would take a loose dress as well as trousers for the journey home as you don’t know how uncomfortable you might be with something around your waist, so you’ll have a choice. 
Don’t forget that the staff will not only look after you physically, but they are unbelievably kind and supportive people who will do everything to make you feel better. My advice would be to try and focus on the end result for positivity, but deal with each day as it comes. Remember, pain, whether physical or emotional, is a natural part of life and not a weakness, don’t be afraid of your feelings and don’t set targets for yourself- just live in the moment. It will all be ok in the end ️

Hey there.  

I had my operation in December and like you there was a slim chance of needing a stoma. I didn’t need one.  They did however measure me up for one on the left and one on the right.  I think it’s normal that they say for those of us for whom it’s not essential that it’s a possibility.  

i didnt struggle at all to empty my bowels, for two days I had little control which I found very upsetting but again I think it’s normal.  The nurses will look after you in hospital and remember they’ve seen it all before.  

my wounds 5 in total were a lot lower down than I expected.  I had the dilemma of big knickers or low small ones.  Obviously I got it wrong……my biggest incision was just above my c section scar the others were higher up on the left and right side of my tummy.  I did wear joggers home as the dressings stopped everything rubbing

Your questions are not silly at all.  I found these little details more important than needing to know too much about the operation itself.

I’m so sorry about your husband.  I think I remember you from a week or two ago  You cared for him while he was poorly?  Apologies if I’m not remembering correctly.  I can only imagine this is torture because you can’t share your worries and fears with the person that you have spent your life with.   No one can replace that bond but please share your feelings with your family and friends  Your support system will be different but I can almost guarantee they will be so happy knowing just a phone call or a chat could help you.  We all say to someone who is suffering “please let me know if there is anything I can do”  we truly mean it but the burden is on the person suffering to say “I’m terrified, I’m vulnerable” but do tell them, and don’t feel guilty if you have to call them at 1am just because you need to talk.  

We can support you on here.  I found everyone who messaged me when I was having dark thoughts here so kind and supportive and it really helped me.  ️️

Hi Clickoff

Youve been through so much already. 
I would plan for every eventuality. Belt and braces me 

I had a temporary Stoma which there’s plenty of support and advice from the nurses if needed 

Incase of a lack of control after the operation after my reversal I bought pads. 
It gave me the confidence to manage any blips that happened 

Hope all goes well 

best wishes 

I had  a permanent stoma fitted on January 3rd after a bowel cancer diagnosis. With the initial excellent support of the Stoma nurses I now find I am competent in managing all the requirements. Honestly, it is easy, and I am 84.

Hi Clickoff your feelings are completely natural.  I am a week post op but really struggled with pre op anxiety, mind racing. You have the added emotional toll of having lost your husband, which is so hard. I am so pleased you have a friend with you when you come out.

To reassure you my hospital experience was fantastic.  The staff are amazing.  I took some tena pants in but they had pads and absolutely nothing phases them. There were lots recovering from bowel surgery. I wasn't ever in pain, this is managed day and night and if you are struggling to go to the toilet they give laxatives. Also be reassured you won't be discharged until they are happy you are well enough.  On day 2 I had a big dip and cried on the nurses, again she said this was totally normal, sorted me out and I carried on.

I travelled home in loose joggers as I didn't want anything around my waist. I popped my jacket on my lap in the car so the seat belt wasn't digging in. You are sent home with pain relief guidance and any medication, again my pain is well under control.

As others have said, take each day as it comes. You will be tired, I have a sleep every afternoon.  Sometimes the tears come and I let them. I think part of recovery is accepting you have been through an ordeal and letting yourself go with however you are feeling xx

Thank you.

That was really helpful. 

My worry is will I be able to wear my stretchy trousers on the way home. I don't have any dresses.

Did you wear nighties in hospital or pyjamas? 

I can hardly believe this is really happening to me!

I haven't even come to terms with losing my beautiful husband. 

That was so easy to read and identify with.

You have helped to put my mind at ease. 

I always like to be in control so this is hard for me. I looked after my paraplegic husband for 44 years since his motorcycle accident when he broke his back and spinal cord. 

This will be a real learning curve. 

Thank you  

Wow  

Oh I really feel for you.  This is stressful without the loss of your beautiful husband.  Don’t be strong lean on everyone.  You need the support remember that time for “being strong” isn’t now.  

My diagnosis and operation feel very surreal.  Sometimes I could honestly be forgiven for thinking that it didn’t happen.  Maybe this feeling is normal?  

I’d say your stretchy trousers will be perfect.  I took pjs to hospital but I never actually got into them.  They provide gowns and you don’t have to worry about washing them.  Take your dressing gown or long cardigan for when you do your lap of the ward.  They will get you up and about quickly.  For me the ward was too hot for my dressing gown so I just used a cardigan.  Don’t forget your slippers!!  

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