Husband just been diagnosed with Bowel Cancer still awaiting stage and treatment plan. He is 46.

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Hi I'm new here. 

My husband was diagnosed with Bowel Cancer last week. We have done all tests and now awaiting treatment plan and more details on stage of cancer.

He didn't really have many symptoms but both his parents died of it in there 60's. I just noticed he kept needing the toilet. More often than normal and nagged him to get checked. So here we are. 

I know we have a long journey ahead of us. I just get these dark waves of what if I lose him. We have 2 children who know he has cancer. We are very open with the kids but keep it positive. I am just very scared and feel like a dark cloud is over us. The world is still moving but our world has changed so much. 

Any encouragement or advice would be appreciated. Xxxx

  • Hi  

    Welcome to our community though we are always a little bit sorry to see a new member join our special club.

    Almost everyone says that the period between that initial diagnosis and getting to a treatment plan is about the most difficult of all. If we look at your feelings when someone has cancer I know I recognize a lot of the feelings I went through. 

    When my wife was first diagnosed our son was in primary school, we shared with them and that helped to ensure he got a consistent message that seemed to be helpful.

    <<hugs>>

    Steve

    Community Champion Badge

  • Hi Lemony, 

    I’m so sorry that your husband has just been diagnosed with bowel cancer; I know exactly how you must be feeling right now and am sending you a big hug. My own hubby was diagnosed with rectal cancer on 23rd May and the last month has been very tough. The waiting for scan appointments and test results has been the hardest, because you just feel that time has slowed down while you move along through the system and you have no control over things. However, once your hubby’s MDT meeting has taken place and you get a treatment plan, you will both feel like things are progressing and that you’re starting to fight back against his cancer. We also have 2 children who are young adults, both in their 20’s and like you, I have often thought of how things would be if we were to lose hubby. It doesn’t bear thinking about. We haven’t told them about their dad’s illness yet as we’ve been waiting for the outcome of the MDT, tests and appointments.

    On Friday there, my hubby’s case was finally discussed by the MDT and then almost immediately, we started to get phone calls with feedback from the colorectal nurses and also from admin staff with appointments. The pace started to pick up. We have an appointment with the surgeon first thing tomorrow morning with a view to planned surgery next Monday, 1st July. Hubby also has another MRI in the afternoon, just to check an area on his liver.

    If it wasn’t for the kindness of people on here, I honestly don’t know how I’d have managed over the last month. The support on this forum is amazing and has given me so much strength. I hope you will keep on posting and let us know how your hubby is doing. Sending my best wishes to you all.

    Look after yourself, take care,

    Roses xx

  • Hi 

    I am 44 and was told 10 days ago the emergency operation to remove a blockage in my bowel was a cancerous tumour. Since it has been confirmed things moved very quickly and I’m now in my first cycle of chemo. It is incredibly scary and overwhelming but the doctors are very positive and have explained how much treatment has moved on. Be strong you got this. I have a young son and have read the pages on here on how to talk to him about it and it was sound advice x

  • Hi 100KT,


    Thanks so much for your kind words, I will have a look for this. I hope that you are recovering well after your surgery and feeling that you’re fighting back now that you’ve began chemo. Wishing you all the very best, take care.

    Roses xx

  • Hi  I’m not sure how old your children are but there’s a link here that might help?

    https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/diagnosis/talking-about-cancer/talking-to-children-and-teenagers

    Bupa also have some good leaflets online too aimed at younger children?

    Please keep posting? Bowel cancer is notoriously slow growing but very treatable. I was told in 2016 that they were ‘treating me with a view to cure’ and my doctor commented that they wouldn’t have said that 10 years ago.  Once you have a treatment plan in place then things will honestly feel a bit better and things will start to move quite quickly. The next few months will be tough but we’re here to help and support you through this

    Take care

    Karen x

    Macmillan Support Line - 0808 808 00 00, 7 days a week between 8am-8pm
  • Thanks so much for that Karen. They’re young adults, in their early 20’s, but think the world of their dad so it’s going to be really hard telling them. We know that they’ll have so many questions which is why hubby and I were holding off breaking the news to them until we had all the information about his staging and treatment. When the time is right, we will tell them and be there to support them through this. 

    Take care,

    Roses xx

  • Hi Lemony

    I understand how worrying this is, I was away working in Thailand 18 months ago and had just started a new job and initally thought it was just stress or different food as  I had minor symptoms but went for a test and was diagnosed that day as stage 3 cancer (its private treatment in thailand and very very fast), so I  quit my jpb and returned immediately to the Uk for confirmation.

    I had to wait a few weeks for testing to confirm tha Thai diagnosis, but once that was done I  had surgery within 2 weeks, a bowel resection, as a blockage was discovered and my consultant decided to operate straight away rather than the normal route of chemo first.  Anyway, the good news was that follow up test indicated that there was no spread, the diagnosis was 'downgraded to stage 2,  so no need for further treatment at that stage, I've had follow up colonsocopies and CT scans and so far so good. 

    While its hard not to worry what I found really useful was NOT to google for any information, this site has lots of resources and my colerectal team were and still are available by phone for advice or if I have questions , for the first 6 weeks post surgery they phoned me once a week to check in!  I was also offered counselling if I wanted it both by the hospital and my GP, so whatever the outcome (fingers crossed for you both) there is support there.

    Carol

  • Hi Lemony

    I was diagnosed with Dukes A bowel cancer 7 years ago, no real symptoms, blood found in routine poo test, had surgery, anterior resection, and prepped for a stoma (not needed) off work for 9 weeks, finally discharged from oncology 2022 after clear colonoscopy.  

    Worrying time for patients, loved ones and carers, but very good outcomes for many patients

    Take care and best of luck.

    Peter

  • Hi, Thankyou for your advice. It's appreciated. 

  • Hi. Thankyou Peter. That's very encouraging news. I'm glad you came out the other side. Kindest Regards