I was diagnosed with rectal cancer back in 2021.
At first everything was going well, had a loop colostomy which I quickly got used to.
I then had a course of radio/chemotherapy which again went well with no major issues.
I was then put on a course of capox and everything started to fall apart. It had to be stopped after 3 cycles as it was causing my body to shut down. But my oncologist was sure that it had done it's job. Just needed an operation to clean up any residual cells.
Unfortunately the chemo had caused so much damage to my heart the surgeons refused to do the surgery.
A year later a routine scan showed not only had the cancer not gone but it had spread massively.
This left me in a difficult place. My options were a very long and potentially fatal operation 10% chance of not waking up.
More chemo (not a bloody chance). Or do nothing and await the inevitable.
I chose the surgery and after an 8 hour Hartman's procedure, which resulted in 18 inches of bowel being removed.
Thought I was over the worst and could get back to some resemblance of normality.
Not to be. Some residual cells had been left behind so no choice but to go back on chemo, I choice I didn't make lightly.
So now I should be on my 3rd cycle but keeps being deferred because I'm not well enough to have it.
I am in constant pain and have no energy at all. All I do is get up take meds go back to bed.
I used to be very active but not anymore. My quality of life is practically zero. The only reason I don't refuse treatment is for my family's sake, but I really don't know how much longer I can carry on.
Hi Catdad
I feel for you . Reading your post you can see just how tough this has been and so many unfortunate situations to navigate .
Has you oncologist spoken about reducing the chemo dose .? This did help my mum considerably. But I hear what you are saying . My mum had a tough time on chemo and it was always a relief to get to the end and see her reemerge from it all .
It’s also psychologically tough having surgery under the percentages of survival you mentioned . My mum had a one in five given to her at one point for one operation. I don’t speak about it much but it did impact everyone and took a while to get over .
Have you thought about some counselling when you feel more able to do it . You have a lot of quite traumatic aspects and might be a thought going forward.
I appreciate you have come this far for your family and I get that . I know my mum did similar and all I can say for her happier times did follow and the opportunity to draw breath and regain some strength and Normality did help address the imbalance that had taken a toll on her quality of life .
How many cycles are proposed?
take care ,
Court
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