Update of Husbands diagnosis

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We had a call from the CNS he had the ct mri and bloods last week and the mdt meeting yesterday they called saying he has stage 3 and needs a pet scan I’m assuming so they can see if it’s in the nodes?? We have the meeting with the consultant on 29th to tell us more.

I'm feeling a bit lonely (selfish I know) but I’m not sleeping as I’m researching everything and worrying, tonight I text oour daughter saying that he didn’t want dinner and that’s he’s feeling sicky so I’d given him some anti sickness tablets and she doesn’t want to talk about it she’s happy to stick her head in the sand (her words not mine). My mum is devastated so I cant talk to her, our other daughter is away at uni, it’s bloody hard trying to keep it together for everyone and having no one there for you.

i know you have helplines to talk through stuff but id really like to be able to talk to people who know me and us.

Ellie1 over 1 year ago

Hi Traceyann, I’m sorry you are all going through this. I can empathise about the difficulties in talking to family, and feeling lonely when they don’t seem to want to do that. It was a rough lesson for me as I thought the world should stop because such an awful thing had happened to my husband when we got his diagnosis. But everyone is different and people respond in so many different ways to cancer, and I’ve really had to work hard to accept that. And I also found that sometimes when people do talk about it they really are trying their best but simply don’t know what to say…and some definitely said things that weren’t helpful (not because they wanted to but because they didn’t know what to say). The people who helped me the most were a friend who had been through a cancer experience with her husband (as she says, unless you have been through it you simply cannot imagine what it’s like)…and a counsellor from Maggies. Have you heard of Maggies? They really are brilliant and were an oasis to me when I felt at my loneliest. And this group is a great sharing space. Sending you very best wishes x

Rac over 1 year ago

Hi Traceyann, I’m sorry to hear you are going through this. I was diagnosed with colon cancer in November 2023, I had emergency surgery due to appendicitis. They managed to successfully remove the tumour with good margins. 2 out of the 24 lymph nodes were affected. It has since been graded as a stage 3 tumour and I started adjuvant chemotherapy a week ago. I Was absolutely devastated being a single parent to 4 teenagers, however they have all been fantastic in their own ways. My eldest did fall slightly behind with uni work while I was in hospital but she has since caught back up. My children have chosen not to tell their friends and I totally understand why, I’ve only told people that need to know! It’s an individual choice but I work in a local school and know how fast gossip spreads.

If you click on my name you can read my full story.

Please feel free to ask any questions. Sending you best wishes.

Rachael x