Need Some Reasurance

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Hi Everyone!

So sorry to come on with this again and I know I should be grateful because a lot of you are going through a lot worse. I'm looking for some help here. I took a panic attack again earlier tonight. I started to really sweat and felt I couldn't breathe, and Jay told me to lie down on the couch and take deep breaths. I felt a bit better after it though. The thing is this is constantly going around in my head that they are going to tell us that there is something else wrong with Jay now. We have the district nurse coming out tomorrow to take bloods from him and then on Thursday as I think I already mentioned he gets a phone consultation with the oncology department who will decide if he's ok to start his next cycle this Friday. I'm really worrying now that they are going to say that they found something else in his blood tests even though he was allowed home on Friday with antibiotics for his chest infection. I spoke to one of the MacMillan nurses on the phone earlier and she has more or less told me what some of you here have already that if the bloods show anything unusual because of the infection they will put his next cycle back a week until they think the infection has gone completely. She told me to try not to worry too much- which most of you know is easier said than done. I just want to content myself that everything will be alright. As I've said already, I think it has been because we have already had a few setbacks with this journey already I'm just waiting now for something else bad to happen. I almost didn't admit him to hospital last week with this what is now we know a chest infection because of what happened the first time with the CAPOX I just saw history repeating itself. But there again I'm glad I did because it could have got quite serious if they gave him chemo not knowing he had the infection but then again something may have shown up in his bloods. Just want this to all go away. Hope someone out there can help. Thanks.

Vicky x

Mrs. S over 2 years ago

Hi Vicky,

Can I share a personal experience with you.

I recognise your anxieties as I had a panic attack a couple of years ago followed by some therapy that didn't really resolve it.

I had some CBT last year as my head was very busy (ironically I was having health anxiety & fear of death & dieing which was triggered by several bereavements, covid & exposure to loss). I highly recommend the CBT, I see from some other posts that you have had some talking therapy & use the helplines so maybe you've tried it already?

I learned some very helpful techniques which have been transferable. Needless to say with my recent diagnosis & current state of waiting results & treatment plan limbo, I've been able to use some of them right now.

Like you my brain plays out many scenarios & it's difficult to rationalise. I'm very aware it's happening but it used to be difficult to switch off. Suppressing these thoughts was also unhelpful for me. The Psychologist that supported me, helped me to understand that my brain was doing a very good job showing me all these possibilities (part of fight & flight, our survival mechanism when feeling threatened). I was given lots of techniques to try as well as work through some exposure exercises.

Something I'm doing right now, which was my technique of choice, is thanking my brain. I actually say out loud "Thank you brain for showing me all these options, you really are very clever but for now it's not helping me, I'll come back to you if I need to think this through'. I then do a mindfulness activity (even if it's for a minute or so) & then get my head onto practical things I can do that will help my situation or move me onto something else.

I hope this passes for you very soon, your husband is fortunate to have your caring support & your posts have really helped me to also check in with my husband to make sure he's ok whilst on the journey with me.

Best wishes,

Bev

PattyK over 2 years ago in reply to Mrs. S

Thank you so much Bev!

Yes, the counsellor I spoke to on the phone was great. He managed to email me through lots of those meditation exercises you can find on youtube and other breathing exercises. I have used them but then forget all about them. We have had a few disappointments on this journey treatment wise, so I think this has stayed with me and then every test, etc I'm always looking on the doom n gloom side of things. As I said, I want to be contented in that it is only a chest infection and then something else is not going to pop up out of the blue and it's going to be `oh we missed that`. Usually when things are going too well for us this is when it can happen. I need to keep practising those breathing exercises more. Thanks again.

Vicky x

Cranagh over 2 years ago in reply to Mrs. S

I feel

Anxious all

thr time waiting for my child’s outpatient appointment next week and my anxiety has started already I can’t get in contact with my own doctor as they ful

booked I can’t stop

Worrying all

time