So Down Today!

Hi Everyone!

I'm feeling really down today and don't know what to do. I was at my son's house yesterday looking after my little granddaughter and it was great. I just did not feel like coming home last night and just felt that it wouldn't bother me if I never stepped foot in this house again. Jay has seemed to be a bit more like himself the last couple of days so for that I should be over the moon but I'm not. We had the nurse in on Sunday to disconnect his chemo pump and then we went out and did a few bits of shopping I actually slipped and fell on a bit of black ice I didn't see on the pavement and Jay couldn't even get out the car to help me. Luckily a young lad seen it happen and ran over to help me. Whether Jay could get out of the car or not I don't know but I just felt like a proper idiot. I needed to sit down in the car for a few minutes to get my composure back and then I went in- on my own to get the shopping. Jay seems to be eating more again he made dinner last night again and ate most of it just leaving about two potatoes and then later on last night he had a packet of crisps which is something he hasn't done in a long time. I just felt that I couldn't get out of bed this morning and it's one of those days I don't really care what goes on. I spoke to my counsellor from SAMH yesterday and he has managed to extend my sessions to one more tomorrow. I feel alright when I am on the phone speaking to people but then when I come off the phone a few hours later I'm away as bad as ever again. We've been accepted on to housing lists for sheltered housing but unfortunately, they're not coming quick enough for us as far as I'm concerned, and I just really want a place for Jay and I to be where at least he can get outside more easily. I can see Christmas this weekend really far enough. Sorry to be a `dolly doldrums`. 

Vicky x