Facing Cancer Alone.

Hi @Marianne26. I’m so sorry that you’ve not had support through this. I wonder if your friends see you as an independent person so don’t feel they need to offer help but maybe would be happy to if you asked them? It seems a shame to miss your CT scan - with more notice you could maybe have looked into local services where volunteers can drive you? Hopefully you’ll be able to re-arrange it or the weather might not be as bad as expected.

You know we’re always happy to ‘listen’ here on the board and the support desk is available 7 days a week. I think there is also a ‘buddy’ scheme where they match you with a person in a similar situation to chat and offer support

Take care

Karen x

Hi Marianne26 

I think you have been a great example to others on the board and I have seen you time and time again reach out and use your experience to reassure others going through treatment on their own .

So sorry your windscreen wipers are not working . Some things are just out with your control . But you will get that rearranged that I know and to be honest after a few years into all this  we pushed everything the other side of Christmas anyway . Why add stress .

I am not at all surprised you have a creative daughter . How interesting.

Hope your ok within yourself .

Court 

Thanks so much Court & Kareno62

I think I've been strong throughout my cancer journey so far...dealing with it alone. When I got home from my appointments & major Op & other procedures, there was no one here to put the kettle on. I had to do it all myself.

I hate any weakness within myself, but this evening, for some reason - I am feeling tearful & vulnerable - & I have no idea why.

Possibly because I'm due  CT Scan tomorrow - but can't face driving the 15 miles there, without my windscreen wipers working - in the pouring rain weather forecast.(Which is obviously dangerous,) yet also, my Radiator Thermostat is immoveable today, so no heating in my bedroom.

I have no idea what the matter is with me today - but I just feel very vulnerable, & I hate having to phone NHS to say I won't be attending tomorrow. I feel guilty about that. Forgive the violins tonight, I hope to feel stronger tomorrow xt

Yes, I think that I've been extremely independent throughout my whole journey with cancer, & have rarely asked for any support. I'm fine with talking about it all with people, but have rarely asked for help in the past. I am now supposedly clear of cancer, but for some reason tonight, I just feel extremely vulnerable & tearful - & I have no idea why. x

This resonates with me so much. I too have faced my journey alone for the most part. Like you I have no problems discussing my condition and have been very upfront with others. Sadly all my friends seem to have vanished, leaving me with parents the only ones to turn to. 

Despite taking it (mostly) in my stride I too can get very teary and overwhelmingly sad at times. I think it's only natural, you've been through a lot. Try to take each day as it comes. Sending love and hugs.

Hi Marianne26 

I think that you’ve been amazing to go through the anxiety alone. It’s very scary and hard to process 

Be kind to yourself and share here if it helps or maybe a close friend

I think this time of year is so tough anyway and Cancer is something that affects us without the emotions of Christmas. 
Putting off the scan shouldn’t cause any issues with timings as the results are slower this time of year anyway 

Take care xxx

Hi Marianne,

I have found doing as much as I can on my own (chemo, scan…) helps me feel like things carry on as normal, but I do have a very supportive husband, and young children. I was diagnosed in May 2019 as well and lung Mets last July. I have a scan due Dec 28th to see if the chemo is having any effect, but like you I am really dreading it! I’m sure people around you will be more than happy to help getting you to your scan, they are often willing to help, just not sure how.

Take care  x

Thank you Artsie & also Catdad I can talk to friends when I need to, but I rarely do these days. However, I've never been a person that asks for help. Yes, I am very strong & independent, & rarely cry....so, I can't understand why I need to tonight. It suddenly feels like a build up of three years of tears. x

Well I for one am glad you came here and shared . That’s what community is all about . Helping each other when it gets tough .

I also think you are a bit of a rock going through all that .

We need each other. Hope tomorrow is a bit better for you . 
Court 

Hi Marianne

Not sure how isolated your home is. 15 miles to a hospital does not sound like the back.of beyond.

Are there no minicab services that you can call upon?  Seems like a very bad idea to.miss out on the scan 

1. Time delays for your prognosis

2. Difficulty in reallocating the slot at this juncture.

Not sure how you message privately etc on this app but I'm happy to pick up the fare if you are in financial.difficulty. Message me with cab detail and i will.take care of the rest.

Keep.Trucking