Hi Everyone!
I'm not on here tonight for the `poor me` scenario but looking at it as a support and carer for Jay, I am asking myself if things will ever be the same again. He is just not himself at all and I can never see him getting over this. He goes for this new chemo treatment starting this Friday and goes in tomorrow to get his PICC line inserted the thing is that is getting me now is his eating habits. He was always a `foody` but now, it takes him all his time to clear his plate. Jay was always a one at nighttime dinner to have his main meal then a pudding be it a yogurt or some ice-cream and then his cup of tea/coffee with a biscuit or something. Later in the evening he would maybe have a bag of crisps or nuts or something but none of that never happens anymore. He's lucky if he makes it through his dinner. Ironically, I used to wish he would stop eating so much because he ate like a p*g and now I'm worrying he's not eating enough. He gets up in the morning and makes himself something I know that because when I get up, I can smell something has been cooking. Then he will ask what is for lunch sometimes I don't bother with lunch, but he finds himself something like a cuppa soup or similar. At night though, he can have hardly anything on his plate but yet can still leave something. He's gone from 148kg from last year which works out about 22/23 stone down to 117Kg which I believe works out at 18/19 stone, so he's lost about 3 stone which I don't know is a lot for him and his height. I know he's constantly stressing and processing about his cancer diagnosis and this will all be contributing to it. Even when he started his first round of chemo when the cancer came back he was still eating well but since he got ill around about the 4th cycle of CAPOX his appetite has dropped considerably but then last week he said he felt he was getting it back again but now it's all dropped away again. I would just love to have my `old Jay` back and don't see him returning anytime soon we don't even have a carry on any more used to playfully grab one another now if I do that, he says to leave him alone or I feel pushes me away. I have said that to him that he pushes me away but said he would never do that, but it certainly doesn't feel like that. I just want to see happier days happening for us but those seem so far away in the distance just now.
Vicky x
Hi Vicki,
Away and pour yourself a large wine. You are there for Jay but need to be there for you.
Jay is obviously just consumed by his diagnosis. With cancer sometimes you don’t feel like eating that’s Normal. He will eat when he’s hungry.
Hope that wines poured. 
xx
Cath
Still got the big bottle of Prosecco from my birthday Cath!
. Still trying to get an extra looooong straw to fit inside the bottle so I can sup it in one go
xx
Cath you sounded just like my dad there!! with you're `away n pour yourself a wine` One of my dad's favourite sayings was `Away ye go ya mug ye` and I just heard him when you said that. Weird!
.
Hi Vicki,
Oh thats spooky. I hope you’ve found your big straw and opened that Prosecco 
xx
Cath
