Putting on a front

Hi,

I know how you feel 10 years ago I lived from scan to scan for 5 years, then I was signed off from the hospital. I don’t know what was worse living from scan to scan or no contact at all. 

Unfortunately I think it’s the latter because the cancer has returned with a vengeance. It’s inoperable so I’m told and not curable and as yet I’m not on any treatment. Now to say this was a shock would really be an understatement, but I had a word with myself and said am I going to wallow and be sad all the time and crying and everyone round  about me feeling awkward, or am I going to try and live my life to the full being as happy as one can be with my diagnosis and taking one day at a time ensuring I’ve always something to look forward to. I chose the latter. 

That’s not me putting a face on it or being strong that’s just me xx

Good luck on your journey. 

It’s a tough journey that none of us choose. But we can choose to live each day as much as we can. Even if it’s only a little. At my lowest ebb, I kept a journal of all the good things that happened. And there was never a day without an entry! Carpe diem - one day at a time works for me, most of the time.  

I always live in the NOW anyway so at the point of my diagnosis I just chose to carry on and be positive. I'm living scan to scan but have tbh, I absolutely believe that the cancer is gone and I can live a full life. As I put in one of my (therapeutic) poems, If it comes back, I'll fight it again, and I will win again.

Keep strong

Richard 

Hi,

Thats my motto. It worked the last time and hopefully it will work this time and I will be one of the 14% that makes it to the 5 year survival. 

Im still here after 10 years so hopefully there are more years in me yet. 

You are all such an inspiration. I just wish I could pass this on to Jay but I think he's just about given up. No amount I think of trying to go about things in a roundabout way is going to help. 

Hi!

I've got a very similar timeline: diagnosed in 2019 and then follow-up scans. The last one, in July showed 3 nodules in the lungs, 2 of which were apparently they were already there a year before but the radiologist failed to flag them (I received deep apologies and assurance that it wouldn't affect the prognosis, but that's another story). I was devastated by the news, especially when the colorectal consultant told me I was looking at a little more than 2-3 years. I'm about to have my 5th out of 12 chemo and hoping for resection if the chemo works. In the meantime by daughter who is about to turn 16 started self-harming - she doesn't talk/ask questions about the cancer like her 2 other siblings but might have been googling things .. now battling to get her mental health help. My youngest is 9 and I am just hoping for a miracle to see her through to adulthood. Living one day at the time and keeping busy to keep it off my mind.

Take care x

So sorry to hear about your diagnosis. I’m similar to you apparently the tumour in my abdomen was there in 2020 and no one bothered to tell me. 

I was asked if I wanted a prognosis I said no as I don’t want my focus to be on that, My cancer is stage 4 inoperable and not curable. 

Have both lungs with nodules, enlarged lymph nodes in abdomen or tumour and tumour in my sacrum in my pelvis. No luck, 

One day at a time. 
P.S so sorry about your daughter. 

Well that’s 3 years and you’re still here. Can I ask did they start chemo as soon as you were diagnosed. The reason I ask is they told me because I’ve no symptoms they aren’t offering me any treatment at the moment. 

Yes, I had a CT scan, confirmed recurrence with a biopsy and started chemo ASAP. I had no symptoms at all, still jogging etc. I found you really need to question everything they suggest. I've lost a lot of faith in the medical system and feel I have to fight to get what I think is right. Even simple things: I mentioned the effect of vitamin D on risk of recurrence and coping with chemo treatment and then the oncologist said that yes, it would really help, but he didn't offer it in the first place! Take care x