Coping with my partner’s diagnosis

Hi Ea1. Yes the waiting for scans and results and meetings is very stressful but please try and hold on to the fact that bowel cancer is very treatable especially if caught early and it sounds like your hubby’s is. You will need to be strong for both him and your children but there’s no magic wand to give you that strength. There is a Carers board on here who might have some helpful words of advice for you?

https://community.macmillan.org.uk/cancer_experiences/carers-only-forum

Theres lots of help in this link too and you can always ring the support line on the number below and talk it through with them

https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support/supporting-someone/emotional-support-for-family-and-friends/supporting-my-partner-with-cancer

Hopefully the scans will come through quicker than you expected

Take care

Karen x

I know it’s devastating when you get a cancer diagnosis. But I think it’s good to go with the flow with your feelings which is understandable. For me I try to approach each day as it comes and enjoy it the best I can. I was diagnosed small bowel cancer nearly 10 years ago stage 3 and I’m still here. The main thing is they know about it and he can be treated. Big hugs to you and your family. 

Thanks Cath, the consultant at the time was very positive, and kept saying in his experience it all looked to be a fairly early catch, and so we left the endoscopy suite shocked but not fearing the absolute worst. It was when the CR nurse phoned yesterday that it really hit and she told us to not get our hopes too high until the scans and histology were back. I understand they have to not over promise as it were, however their dementors couldn’t have been any different from each other, I think it really knocked us both for six!

I guess all we can do is take each day at a time x

• I know how you feel it is a shock when you hear the C word. I will keep my fingers crossed for you. The treatment for bowel cancer is really good. Big hugs. 

Hope all goes well with the meeting today Ea1. Please let us know how he gets on?

Take care

Karen x

Hello Ea1!

Can relate to what you are going through very well as I am going through this too. My husband too had to go for a colonoscopy last year in May 2021 and they said they found `abnormalities` in his colon but at the time weren't sure if it was cancer or not and like you, I just went numb and feared the worst. Anyway, CTs Na MRI's (and yes i do agree they are a `bugger` to wait for sometimes) came back and he was diagnosed as having bowel/colorectol cancer on the 1st July 2021 but it was treatable. Apparently, the tumour had been sitting there his surgeon said for around about 3 or 4 years and symptoms just started to surface at the end of 2020 when he was going to the toilet a lot more than usual. This then went on to him having a bowel resection done and now has to wear a stoma bag permanently but its second nature to him now. Then in January this year (2022) he went in to get the tumour removed. All went well and they were able to catch it all- or so they thought (please don't get scared by that though everyone is different). He went for a follow up appointment in May this year and they did blood tests, and it came back the CEA markers that detect cancer in the system had risen `slightly` they said and wanted to do a CT scan which went on to confirm that after 4 months the cancer had returned. His surgeon was very upset about the whole thing because she was adamant, they had got it all but then they say it's not guaranteed and that stray cells can get through sometimes. So, just when we thought everything was done and dusted, we found out it wasn't and never gave it a 2nd thought that it could come back you can have a recurrence within 5 years they say but there you go 4 months for us. It's treatable again though but unfortunately surgery is not an option this time and he has to complete so many cycles of chemotherapy he's into his 3rd just now it consists of going to day clinic once during his cycle for Oxaliplatin infusion and taking 10 capecitabine tablets at home for 14 days (5 in the morning and 5 at night) and then a break for 7 days without treatment. Don't know if this will rid him of it now completely or get it under control. We have been told its very slow growing though so maybe this treatment may just kill whatever is still there or put him into remisson  won't say `cure` because now we know it's not always certain, so we just remain `cautiously optimistic` all his blood tests he's had done recently have all come back normal, and they are happy at the moment with his progress and seems there is nothing (touch wood) concerning them just now. They are arranging a dreaded CT scan for him though in the coming weeks that will send the sh**ts right up us because that's when they start finding things you didn't think were there. I wish you and your husband and family well going forward. Take Care

Vicky xx

Hi Vicky, 

Wow that’s quite a journey you have been on! I will keep everything crossed for you that the CT brings you positive news!

We had our first appointment today with the oncologist and I have to be honest I feel slightly relieved to have a plan of attack in place! He has to have radiotherapy for a week then in to chemo ( the sss as me as your husbands regime) for 3 months after which they will look at the surgical options. 
Our next big thing is telling the children, which I am dreading, although we have been told it can take up to 3 weeks to arrange the radio so we have time to reasearch how to tackle that one!

so lovely to be able to openly tss as ok about all this with people who are going through the same thing xx

Hi, That’s all you can do it’s hard to find anything positive when your diagnosed. It’s horrible waiting for scans and results. You feel anxious and worried. It’s only natural to feel the way you do. Sending you hugs xx

Hi Vicky,

Sorry to hear that your husband is in this situation. It’s good they have caught it and he can be treated fir it. Sending hugs. I had small bowel cancer 10 years ago stage 3 had a re section and adjuvant treatment. Had kidney stones removed last year should have  had a follow up scan 3 months later but because of covid never got it until July this year. Unfortunately it came back showing abnormalities in my lung, pelvis and abdomen. Sent for another Ct scan with contrast results came back I have recurrent bowel cancer stage 4. Inoperable and not curable. So I’m gutted as prognosis not that great. The consult is shocked it’s such a late presentation. So much so he thought it was a new cancer called sarcoma so he sent me for a biopsy to confirm. It can back recurrent bowel cancer. I saw a oncologist on Tuesday he said I’m not going to offer you treatment just now as you’ve no symptoms. He said I think we should wait  and see if the tumours grow. I was shocked I said so is it slow growing he said I don’t know. I said so it could double in size and you want to not offer treatment. That won’t be happening, 

Ea1. Not sure how old your children are but here’s a link that might help?

https://www.bupa.co.uk/health/health-insurance/bupa-cancer-promise/understanding-cancer